The Legend of Achor
by marioluigi9
Summary: Ever wonder what happened after the Catalyst Comet came? Well, this story tells exactly what happened after that. There are two dimensions: the first is what is actually going on and the second is this story.
1. The Overthrowing of the King of Ooo

Ever wondered what happened after that purple comet came by? Did you ever worry because there hasn't been a new episode for four months? Do you worry that the whole series might just be…not good anymore?

Well, worry no more, because I, the narrator, (or you can call me Narry, whichever is fine for you) will continue this series with what happened after the coming of this comet. This is what I call "The Legend of Achor" or "The Achor Saga." With this story, I will make the whole series better.

"Better?" you may ask, "Adventure Time isn't good anymore! Now you're going to make it better? How?" Well, I will use what I call the "Narry method." I pull audiences in with a story-bounding yank; let them get to know the events, places, people, and plot. I will continue the story with pride and detail.

Anyway, this isn't your average story you see on the bookshelves, no! This is a story about many things. This is a story about overthrowing, birth, love, confession, rejection, proposals, growing up, marriage, mothers, fathers, angels, the 15th tier, parenthood, myths, legends, marvels, adventure, death, resurrection, and memories. This is a story about…the Legend of Achor.

(NOTE: This actually may not be true. Maybe, something else will happen. However, that doesn't stop me from telling this story. Let's just say that after the Catalyst Comet came, the energy caused a universal imbalance and the one dimension split into two dimensions. Dimension #1 is what is actually going on. Dimension #2 is the story I'm about to tell you. So, here we go!)

We begin with a story about a criminal, the King of Ooo. That poor sap. Doing nothing but embarrassing himself and causing trouble. Why the King of Ooo? Well, I have to tell you this so you wouldn't get too confused. I'll go through the details of what happened to him after the coming of the Catalyst Comet. In fact, I'll tell you what happened before the coming of the Catalyst Comet!

Back then; the King of Ooo was a troublemaker. He was a criminal all throughout the Candy Kingdom, and he calls himself a king, but he really isn't! That is, until he became the princess of the Candy Kingdom. It's not exactly a king, but close enough! Why did he become princess? Well, I'll tell you why.

One night, the King had a dream. This wasn't an ordinary dream. It was the dream that would change everything.

He was standing in a blank space, which was all fogged up and filthy, when he saw Bufo, Forest Wizard, and Laser Wizard in the distance, with a cauldron. They were putting rancid stuff in the cauldron, dancing, and chanting:

"In this field of psychology,

We three wizards have a prophecy,

When we wizards speak thy name,

This here prophecy will be inflamed.

Cauldron, cauldron, our musketeer,

The foggy air be filthy and queer,

Cauldron, cauldron, our puppeteer,

Keep on bubbling 'till we be endears!"

The King of Ooo knew that they were on to something. He knew, oh how he knew, that prophecy had to belong to somebody. So, he went toward the three wizards and said, "Who's there? What is this mess?"

Then, the wizards bowed down to the hapless king. "Hail the mortal, for he is king of Ooo!" said Bufo. "Hail the mortal, for he is princess of the Candy Kingdom!" said Forest Wizard. "Hail the mortal, for he shall be immortal and shall inherit the land!" said Laser Wizard.

The King of Ooo was confused. "Yes, I see that I am the King of Ooo, but how am I princess of the Candy Kingdom? It belongs to Bonnibel, and I can't live forever; my life is limited."

"Oh, no need for confusion, immortal!" said Bufo. "By the time you wake up, you'll be unaware of this event!" said Forest Wizard. "Wake up, soon-to-be-immortal!" said Laser Wizard. Then, in unison, the three wizards waved their arms around the King of Ooo and chanted; "Wake up, get up, wake up," and suddenly, the king woke up.

The wizards said that the king would be unaware of the event, but not him! He had been thinking about it all morning long. It just couldn't get out! In fact, he was so intrigued that he had to tell his attorney, Toronto.

"Toronto, ho!" he exclaimed. "I'm right here," said Toronto, "no need to shout!" "Yes, but I need to tell you something!" said the King of Ooo.

"You see, there were these three wizards out in the distance, yes, they were chanting around a normal cauldron. I went up to them, and they said that not only was I the king of Ooo, but that I was princess of the Candy Kingdom! They also said that I would be an immortal being! Then, they said I would be unaware of this, but I wasn't! I just had to tell you."

After that Toronto stood there in silence. "That would be awesome!" he shouted. "Think of all the fame we get! We get precious money! Mooooooney!"

The hopeless king turned his head away from Toronto. "But, it's rude to just overthrow Bonnibel. I think I should wait." Toronto grew in an angry mood. "Oh my Glob! What is up with you today? You hate P.B. You hate her people. You hate the kingdom! Do it! Just do it! Why?"

"I have no idea," said the king. "I'm feeling…emotional today." Then, he began sobbing. Yes, the one true criminal of the Candy Kingdom is bawling about the kingdom that got upset over him! How ironic to see such a disgrace to that place cry over it. It's just kind of…sad.

But Toronto wasn't. "You're not a crybaby! I want you to do it! Just do it!" The crying king said, "I wouldn't overthrow Bonnibel if she was the last princess in Ooo." "Wha…that's just ridiculous! You're a criminal! You hate P.B.! Just listen to me…" then, he began sobbing himself. "For once."

The King of Ooo thought about it for a moment. He didn't want to overthrow Princess Bubblegum, but think about how much fame and fortune he would get! The only major thing he would have to do is make all the candy people love him. Then, he had an idea. A horrible one.

He decided that in the night, he would travel to the kingdom and inject brainwashing liquid into the poor civilians, and then he would take part in a barely yet fully legal election, (Hint: It wasn't.) and voilà! Fame and fortune! Then, he'd just wait, and he would be an immortal being!

He tapped Toronto on his shoulder and said, "Toronto, I'm doing it." Toronto was still crying. "Just…do…it…" The king replied, "Uh, Toronto, I'm doing it." Suddenly, Toronto's tears of sadness became tears of joy. "Yahoo! So, what's the plan?" The King of Ooo told him the plan. "That's great and all," Toronto replied, "but where in Ooo can we get brainwashing liquid?"

After a few minutes, they decided to visit Choose Goose. He had it, and the criminals had to do goody-two-shoes work to get it. The king and Toronto thought it was disgusting. Next, they got a lot of syringes. Where? I have no idea! Even as the narrator, I still get confused sometimes!

And then finally, in the night, the other plan came into action. They traveled to the Candy Kingdom, and with the help of Orgalorg, (Remember him?) one by one and they injected the disastrous brainwashing liquid into the poor candy civilians. They got everybody. (Except Peppermint Butler) They got citizens such as Chocoberry, Cinnamon Bun, Mr. Cupcake, and even Dr. Ice Cream and Nurse Pound Cake.

The next day was a disaster for Princess Bubblegum. The illegal election took place, the King of Ooo won, leaving P.B. to question why her citizens didn't want her anymore. She was bewildered! Confused! Angry! Sad! Any emotion but a positive one! Pretty soon, she ran out of negative emotions, and she decided to just wing it.

Then, the comet came. This brought panic and anxiety into the Candy Kingdom. If you've seen the episodes "Hot Diggity Doom" and "The Comet", you'll know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, I suggest watching them so you don't get confused.

After that, the Candy Kingdom returned to normal. Everything except the King of Ooo. He was watching everybody walk by, and then, Toronto entered and said, "Well done, my man! It was successful! So, you want to go to a movie or something?"

Then, the king slowly turned his head at Toronto with an angry expression. He then got up from his chair and suddenly shouted, "That's it! The Catalyst Comet came and now there's nothing else to do! You're fired! Everybody's fired! Fire everybody! I don't need you anymore! Just go! Now!" Toronto exited the kingdom with anger and haste.

"Great. I just fired my attorney. What can I do now?" He thought for a very, very, very long time. "Hmm…I got it!"

That evening, he invited everybody in the kingdom to a feast. The dinner was homemade meat (What meat? How should I know?) with French-fried potatoes and gravy. Before they started however, the king said an evening prayer.

"Glob, we ask you to bless this food, for this is the food of a soon-to-be immortal, for the three mysterious wizards said so. Amen."

Everyone was so hungry that some of the candy people wolfed down the food in less than sixty seconds.

There was this empty seat that was next to the King of Ooo. Nobody sat there, until the king got some potatoes onto his plate. A person sat down there; nobody could see it except the king because only cruel spirits saw the person. In fact, it wasn't even a person, or a god or deity. (What, did you think that Glob would be there?) And this wasn't any non-person, non-god, and non-deity being.

This was the ghost of Toronto.

This was the ghost of the attorney that the King of Ooo fired just earlier that afternoon. Then, I don't know, he stood there in the cold, wet rain, caught pneumonia, and died in three minutes and seven seconds; a new world record.

When the king saw the ghost, he was furious. He tipped over his plate, spilling the potatoes everywhere, getting caught in the gravy, making one repugnant, unappetizing snack.

"Oh, tyranny! Oh, for Glob's sake, be gone!" the King of Ooo shouted at the ghost with sole-less eyes, "by the power of the life, the universe, and everything in Ooo, be gone! Glob forbids ghosts at fancy-pants dinners! Just go! Now!" Then, the ghost disappeared.

"Uh, excuse me, Mr. King of Ooo?" questioned Flame Princess, (She was invited by Cinnamon bun to come to the feast) "we didn't see anything. You must've been hallucinating or something."

The king realized what he had done. "Please excuse me," he said, "I…was hallucinating. Carry on!" And with that, the feast carried on and eventually, it ended, and the King of Ooo went to bed. He had a stressful day.

That night, he had another dream. It was filthy and foggy, like last time. He was standing with the wizards at the cauldron, when the king questioned something.

"Tell me more about being immortal and all," he said, "that way I'll know all the full details." "Oh, we will tell you more," explained Bufo, "but we have to do our chant first!" "I will let you chant, but hurry. I have to wake up soon." The hopeless king replied. And then, the three wizards did their chant.

"The soon-to-be-immortal king had asked,

'What more is there to this task?'

Well, immortal, we will tell you,

But first, let's chant, bold and blue!

Cauldron, cauldron, our musketeer,

We must ask this immortal peer,

Cauldron, cauldron, our puppeteer,

Let the apparitions come to make him endear!"

Suddenly, an apparition rose up. It was a masked man with blood all over the mask. "King of Ooo! King of Ooo! King of Ooo!" The king replied, "I'm listening." The apparition said, "Beware Finn the human, for he will make sure that you're disenfranchised!"

The King of Ooo said, "Hmm, I shouldn't worry a bit! He's just a small fry! He can't do anything." "Here comes another," said Forest Wizard.

The apparition went back into the cauldron and another one rose. It was a sole-less monster, with shiny gold teeth. "King of Ooo! King of Ooo! King of Ooo!" The king replied, "I'm all ears." The apparition said, "Be bold, brave and resolute! You shouldn't be perished until the kingdom of mounts moves towards the kingdom of sweetness."

The King of Ooo said, "Humph! That's impossible! There's no way some mountains can move! It's improper physics, or so I think." "Here comes the last one," said Laser Wizard.

The second apparition went back into the bubbly water and rose up the last one. It was a child king, with a bloody sword in his hand. "King of Ooo! King of Ooo! King of Ooo!" The king replied, "There isn't a single word that I cannot hear." The apparition said, "You can't be stopped from being immortal unless you fall under control of a person who has been raised by runt dogs."

The final apparition went back into the bubbles below. "I shouldn't worry a bit!" shouted the King of Ooo, "None of those will harm me! Immortality, here I come!"

"You'll wake up and be unaware of this event!" said Forest Wizard. "Wake up, immortal!" said Laser Wizard. Then, in unison, the three wizards waved their arms around the King of Ooo and chanted; "Wake up, get up, wake up," and suddenly, the king woke up.

Like the time before, the king was aware. But he dismissed it, and was excited for his immortal and never-ending life. But meanwhile, four people were plotting at a cottage nearby the Candy Kingdom. Their names were Finn the human, Jake the dog, Bonnibel Bubblegum, and Peppermint Butler.

You haven't forgot about Finn and Jake, haven't you? Of course you wouldn't! Who would forget the two main characters of the most out-there show on Earth? A person with short or long-term memory loss, that's who. (By the way, Finn, P.B., and Peppermint Butler were mentioned earlier, so you wouldn't forget about them! Maybe Jake, though.)

Anyway, they were plotting a way to overthrow the King of Ooo. Here's what happened.

"Let's do something that will knock his socks off!" said Finn. "Yeah," replied Jake, "let's appear that we're doing something unbelievable! But what?" "We could use that super-spicy potion that P.B. made when she was 13!" said Finn. "I threw that out when you weren't looking," said P.B. "I don't know about this, guys." "I have an idea," said Peppermint Butler. He took them outside and pointed towards the Mountain Kingdom.

"How about we make a giant, wooden picture with some mountains on it, then put it on a cart and move it towards the kingdom, so that it'll appear that the Mountain Kingdom is moving!" he explained to them.

They looked at each other for a moment. Then, Finn shouted, "Oh my Glob, you are a genius! That's a perfect way to knock his socks off!" After that, our protagonists got to work. They worked all day and all night long and after about 36 hours, the fake Mountain Kingdom was complete.

"We have to push it slowly! Slowly!" said P.B. So they did. It wasn't that hard. The wooden picture and the cart combined were pretty heavy, so it was easy. They pushed it slowly...for miles and miles and miles…for minutes, for hours, for days, until they made it. What happened during that period?

One day, the King of Ooo was spying everything on the observation tower. Then, he spotted something…peculiar.

The Mountain Kingdom was headed straight for him, just like the second apparition said in his dream.

He was confused and bewildered. "Oh my Glob," he shouted, "I don't believe it! The Mountain Kingdom is headed straight for us! It's just like the second apparition said! Toronto, get my podium, so I can spread the word to the candy people!"

But when he called his name, Toronto didn't come.

He realized something, and he said, "Oh, I remember now. I fired Toronto, and now he's dead. Well, then. It looks like I have to get the podium myself!"

After that, he went down the observation tower and into the depths of the candy castle. Then, he found a podium with the words "Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum" on it. He scratched the words out and replaced them with "Princess King of Ooo," then, he took the podium outside the gates and called everybody to come to a meeting outside the gate.

"Attention, my fellow people," he spoke through the microphone, "the Mountain Kingdom is headed straight for us! It's going to crash into this kingdom and we'll all be dead! Everybody evacuate!"

Everybody panicked. Mountains couldn't move! They were as frightened now as when the Catalyst Comet came. But then, another voice was heard through a microphone. "King of Ooo, this one is for you!"

Everybody turned to where the sound was coming from. That voice belonged to Finn. Jake was standing with him. P.B. and Peppermint Butler stood to the side. All the candy people booed.

"You see, king, this isn't really the Mountain Kingdom! We just made pictures of mountains and pushed it towards the Candy Kingdom! It was an attempt to blow your socks off!" shouted Finn. Jake followed up, "Give us the crown, criminal! Your time is up."

The King of Ooo spoke through his microphone, "Never! I'm just one step away from being an immortal!" Finn was surprised, and then said, "Really? Who said that?"

The hopeless king went into a speech. "It's a long story, but you see, these three wizards told me that I should become princess of the Candy Kingdom and be immortal. Next, these three apparitions told me three more things: one of those was to beware you and that you will end me, but how could I? I have no fear in you! Also, I was told that the Mountain Kingdom would move towards the Candy Kingdom, which did happen! What a coincidence! I forgot the last one, though."

Jake spoke his part of the speech. "King, let me tell you a little lesson. When those wizards and apparitions told you those things, they were telling you prophecies. Supposedly, a prophecy is the foretelling or prediction of what is to come. So, you became the princess of the Candy Kingdom. The Mountain Kingdom moved towards the Candy Kingdom, metaphorically, of course, and what about the future? You will become immortal. Finn will end you. Sometimes, the information you receive is false, like that immortal prophecy. Nobody was immortal! Nobody is immortal! And nobody ever will be immortal! Well, except maybe, Marceline, or something? Anyway, think about it."

The king thought for a moment. Was the immortal prophecy false? Was the "Beware Finn" one true? Then, his evil side took over. "That's a bunch of baloney," he said, "let's settle this once and for all with a duel!" "Challenge accepted." Finn said.

Then, Finn and the King of Ooo took out their swords, leaped up, and started fighting. Finn had the Finn Sword. This beast makes all of Finn's…ahem… _stats_ double. As for the King of Ooo, he had a golden sword. It wasn't powerful; it's the golden sword you see in Minecraft. Although it may not be the best sword, the king thought, it's acceptable.

While they were slashing away and parrying, Finn stated, "Get a life! You'll never amount to anything." "What…the…well…erm…oh yeah?" the king said. He couldn't think of a better comeback.

As the king was fighting, he looked back at Jake, then at Finn, and then over and over again, he continued looking at the brothers. Then, he remembered something.

"I got it!" the king shouted, "the third prophecy the apparitions told me was…'You can't be stopped from being immortal unless you fall under control of a person who has been raised by runt dogs.' Yeah, that's the one!"

"Oh yeah?" said Finn. "Yep, I'm sure of it!" the king shouted with glee.

"Well, sorry to break it to you, but…" he took a pause, "… _I_ was raised by runt dogs!" Then, suddenly, Finn's Finn Sword broke the King of Ooo's golden sword into little fragments. Then, he tried to get away, but Jake morphed into a cage shape and he caught the king. "Never pick on our parents! They're awesome!" Jake said.

P.B. and Peppermint Butler went up to the caged king and after a few seconds, P.B. said, "You're toast."

After that, our four protagonists managed to find brainwashing liquid in every candy people, so P.B. sucked out every last bit of the juice out of everybody. The King of Ooo was sentenced to forever in the candy dungeon. While the king was arrested, P.B. took the time to upgrade her dungeon into a maximum-security dungeon. Once you get in, there's no way out. That is…until your time is up. (But the king got locked up forever, so…) The King of Ooo eventually died in the dungeon due to hunger, thirst, and dehydration. He was never heard from again.

After a while, P.B. took the crown from him and a coronation ceremony occurred. Everybody was there with flags with the bubblegum princess' face on it. During the ceremony, P.B. made a speech.

"I'd like to thank Finn the human boy, for he fought the duel and won. I'd like to thank Jake the dog, for he taught us a little something about prophecies. I'd like to thank Peppermint Butler, for he gave us the idea that changed everybody. Finally, I'd like to thank all of you and myself, for you are my precious people, and I am a true princess, not a criminal. Rejoice!" Everybody clapped and cheered.

So yeah, almost all of the king's prophecies came true. Becoming the princess of the Candy Kingdom came true. The fact that Finn will end him was true. The Mountain Kingdom moved towards the Candy Kingdom. (Metaphorically, of course) A person who was raised by runt dogs ended him.

All but one prophecy came true: that he would become immortal.

Normally, that prophecy would've come true, but another prophecy got in the way. "You can't be stopped from being immortal unless you fall under control of a person who has been raised by runt dogs." Yep, if he hadn't been under control of a person who was raised by runt dogs, he would've become immortal. But he was, so he didn't.

I bet you're wondering, "Is this the end already?" Let me tell you: no, it's not. In fact, it's just getting started.


	2. Achor

Here is our story so far in case if you forgot: Finn, Jake, P.B., and Peppermint Butler devised a plan to overthrow the King of Ooo. They decided to make a wooden picture with mountains on it and push it towards the Candy Kingdom, making it look like the Mountain Kingdom is moving. The king fell for it and challenged Finn to a duel. Finn won, the king got locked up in the dungeon, and everything returned to normal.

You got that? Yeah, I thought so.

Anyway, Finn and Jake's lives have been a blast lately. Their favorite princess got back her crown. To celebrate, they threw a party at their house complete with a disco ball, snacks, fruit punch, and dance floor. The next morning, everybody left and they started to clean up. When they were finished, the tree house looked cleaner than it was before the party even got planned. That was thanks to BMO.

However, this day, in all of Ooo, changed everything.

This morning was a good one. It was sunny outside, the birds were singing, and just about anything you can imagine on a good day was happening outside.

Finn got up late. He was in the middle of a dream. He had a dream that the entire land of Ooo turned into bacon and pancakes and Finn and Jake started to eat up the place until the land couldn't hold the weight of everything, so it sank. Everyone lived, though.

Then, Jake woke him up. "Hey, wake up, Finn," he said, "I made bacon pancakes!" Finn clumsily put his head up and said, "Wow. And I even dreamed about bacon and pancakes! What a coincidence. Wait, what does a coincidence mean?" They both laughed.

Finn got his clothes on and went into the living room. He ate the bacon pancakes quickly. After he finished though, he thought about his love life.

 _Man, there aren't that many girls my age here_ , he thought. _Peebles is too old for me; Flame Princess is dating Cinnamon Bun, so, yeah. I need to get a girl soon, or else this man is headed to Singlesville! Think about my life! Think about what I will become! Oh, the horror! Oh, the maddening ho-_

Suddenly, a phone ring was heard. BMO said, "Ring ring! It's a message from Princess Bubblegum! Ring ring!" Then, Finn and Jake shouted together, "What is it, P.B.?" Then, P.B.'s face appeared. She looked very happy and proud.

"Finn! Jake!" she shouted, "come to my castle immediately! It's a miracle! Oh, I am just so happy! Just come as soon as you can! Okay, bye!"

When they heard this, Finn and Jake immediately went out the door, but before they did, Jake said, "BMO, make sure there are no trespassers! Don't do anything weird! And always remember that when Ice King appears at the door don't let him in! Got it? Okay, see you later!" Then, they went out the door.

Outside, Jake grew to a massive size and Finn got on his back. Then, they began riding to the Candy Kingdom. Then, Finn asked Jake a question.

"Jake, um, aren't there any more girls my age that are single?" Jake replied, "I, um, have no idea, dude. Don't worry, though! Some girl will probably show up! Heck, maybe a girl will just fall out of the sky!" Finn stated, "OK, I guess you're right. After all, there are so many wonderful things that happen in the land of Ooo!"

It turns out Jake was half-right.

When, they got to the entrance, Finn got off of Jake's back and Jake returned to normal size. They began running into the kingdom when the Banana Guards stopped them.

"Halt!" the first one said, "this is a private event! Only V.I.P.s can go to it!" Then, P.B.'s voice was heard on the intercom. "Aw, let them in! They're my most important people I have! I have seats reserved just for them!" When they heard this, the Banana Guards opened the way. "Okay, you may pass." The second guard said. Then, Finn and Jake stepped right into the Candy Kingdom.

There was a lot of commotion in the kingdom. The police was everywhere guiding people to the main hall of the castle. Finn and Jake had no trouble getting there; they were all too familiar with the place.

When they got to the main hall, it was way too packed. ("Over packed" would be an understatement. For real.) The candy people, along with the people from other kingdoms as well as the princesses from other kingdoms were there. This event was even broadcasted on TV and radio! Finn and Jake were totally confused about what to do.

Despite the large crowd, P.B. saw our heroes and said into a microphone, "Finn and Jake! Please step forward into the two highly-reserved seats!" Everybody made way for Finn and Jake, then, they sat in two throne-like chairs with the words "Highly Reserved" on it. They were really close to P.B. Speaking of P.B.; she was holding what appeared to be a…pink cloth.

After a few minutes, everybody settled down. P.B. then spoke into the microphone.

"People of the land of Ooo!" she said, "I have officially planned this event to commemorate a miracle that has happened to me!" She turned her head away from the audience. "You see," she said, "ever since the King of Ooo took over my kingdom, I wanted some joy. I wanted freedom. I wanted happiness, confidence, excitement, gratitude, interest, love, passion, pleasure, pride, satisfaction, wonder, and zest. Then, when I got my kingdom back, my dream came true. In this pink cloth, I have my most precious bambino."

Then, suddenly, Finn and Jake had a confused expression on their faces and thought together, _what just happened?_

P.B. continued, "This little angel is my dream, desire, and love. This little angel is my confidence, wonder, and zest. This little angel is…my baby." Then, she held up the little child so that the audience could see her face. "It's a girl!"

The girl had this very cute smiling face. Her eyes were as clear as the day and her cheeks were as squishy as bubblegum.

Then, all the people of Ooo cheered. Those at the actual event, those listening to the event on the radio, and those watching the event on TV, everybody cheered. There wasn't anybody in Ooo that didn't cheer, except only a couple. And by that couple, I mean Finn and Jake, who were totally confused. (If you're confused, too, don't worry. I was, too.) Then, they decided to cheer along, too.

P.B. concluded by saying, "I will take good care of this child. In addition to me, I will ask my two most highly-valued people ever, Jake the dog and Finn the human boy!"

Finn and Jake wanted to say that they can't do it, but it was very rude to say that, so they got up and went to the podium.

Finn spoke into the microphone, saying, "Um, hello, people of Ooo! It is my honor to serve as…like a…babysitter…for…" The audience laughed. Finn whispered to P.B., "What's her name?" P.B. whispered back, "Oh, I haven't picked out a name yet." Finn continued, "It is my honor to serve P.B. as a babysitter for this soon-to-be-named infant!" The audience laughed again.

It was Jake's turn. He continued the speech by saying, "Hello, fellow people of Ooo! I will take this babysitting to the next level! The next level, man! First, I'll…" P.B. pushed him out of the way. "That's enough, Jake. Anyway, you're free to watch us babysit my new child. Feel free to walk around. There are refreshments nearby."

After that, the crowd dispersed into different places. The only remaining people in the main hall were all of the princesses, Cinnamon Bun, Mr. Cupcake, and Chocoberry. After a few minutes, P.B. taught Finn and Jake how to take care of a child.

"You need to play with it a lot," P.B. said, "and remember to feed them. If you have any further questions, let me know." "We have a question," said Jake. Then, Finn and Jake said together, "Where's the father?"

When she heard this, P.B.'s eyes grew wide. Then, she waved from side to side. It didn't seem to stop.

"What's she doing?" asked Finn. "I think she's trying to remember something," replied Jake, "it's called 'deep thinking.'" Then, P.B. stopped waving from side to side and her eyes shrunk to normal size.

"Not important," she said, "if you need me, I'll be at the side." Then, she went to the side.

"I want to take care of her first." Finn said. Then, he grabbed the baby and tickled her. "Gootchie gootchie goo…" he said. The baby giggled. Her giggle was as sweet as cherry pie. "Let me try!" shouted Jake. Then, Finn handed him the baby and Jake started tickling her. "Gootchie gootchie goo…" he said. The baby giggled for just a second, then she stopped and vomited all over Jake's face. Then, she started giggling again. Finn giggled as well.

"You're such a trouble maker, you!" Jake said, "Little Ms. Trouble!" "That's it!" Finn shouted with pleasure, "let's name her a name that means trouble! Is it okay if we do that, Peebles?" P.B. gave him a thumbs-up. "Okay, what should we name her?"

Jake was excited and had a lot of ideas. "Let's name her something good! Let's name her something that has meaning to her trouble making! How about…Iniko? Or…Kesi? Or…Shiggaion? Shiggaion would be cool!"

Finn was thinking for a moment, then, he said to Jake, "How about Achor?" " _Achor?_ " Jake said, "What kind of name is _that_?" "It's _Israeli,_ Jake." P.B. said. "Mouse pee?" Jake replied.

"Jake," P.B. said, "Achor is just such a good name, for so many reasons. For one, we don't know which kind of trouble she makes, so it's just plain old trouble. Iniko means 'born during troubled times', which she wasn't. Kesi means 'born when father was in trouble', and even though her father is technically is, he really isn't. Finally, Shiggaion means 'song of trouble or comfort', but she can't sing at this age. But Achor just means plain old 'trouble', so it works. Second, Shiggaion was Israeli. Also, Iniko and Kesi were _African._

Jake wasn't paying attention to a word she said. "Manikin?" he said. P.B. was flustered. "Never mind." Then, the newly named baby Achor started crying.

"Oh, no!" Finn shouted, "Did Achor just go boom boom in her diaper?" He looked at her diaper. She did.

"Yuck!" Jake shouted, "Princess, how do you change a baby's diaper?" Then, P.B. went up to our protagonists and taught them how to change a baby's diaper. It was disgusting. Jake, with the grossness of the barf on his face and Achor's boom boom combined, even vomited. All the princesses, Cinnamon Bun, Mr. Cupcake, and Chocoberry were watching this.

But little did they know that someone else was watching.

Yes, someone else was watching. It was on the ceiling. It was this hideous, green, four-legged creature that had a bad reputation. It was known for turning newborns into teenagers in just five days with the help of a stinger. It had a big, fat nose, white eyes, and an upside-down v-shaped mouth.

It was the Adgup.

"What is the Adgup?" you may ask. This creature came about when the one dimension split into two. The cosmic energy that was released when this happened formed a sticky substance that ages people. Then, one by one, the cells from that substance formed into a living, breathing creature, the Adgup.

The Adgup currently resides in the Jum-Jum tree west of the Mountain Kingdom. Legend has it that he won't come out until the day of redemption, but you can come in, if you dare.

Anyway, the Adgup stood on the ceiling where no one can see him. He had to be very careful, or else the stinger will hit the ground, where it would shatter and make a loud noise. Then, it would be all over. However, if the stinger hit the target, then it would make no sound and the aging would come into effect. He shot a stinger from his mouth.

Bull's-eye.

The stinger flew in the air and hit Achor directly on the back. It is said that you feel no pain other than growing pains when the stinger hits you. Then, you age until you're suddenly a teenager. In five days. Once the stinger hits you, there's no way to stop you from aging so quickly.

Anyway, Finn, Jake, and P.B. had a fun time raising Achor. They would play games with her, tickle her, and teach her something, like "B is for ball."

On the second day, Achor started crawling for the first time. She had a wonderful time exploring the castle floors. "She's definitely loving it." Finn said.

On the third day, she started standing up for the first time. She stood only for a few seconds; then, she fell down. "She wants to be loved by everybody." Jake said.

On the fourth day, she walked on her little feet for the first time. She felt excitement and confidence while she was walking. "She is really growing a lot!" P.B. said.

On the fifth day, Achor was the equivalent of a six-year-old. She was really happy running around the castle. "Where's the bathroom?" Cinnamon Bun asked.

You can guess what happened on the sixth day. This day, like the first day, changed everything in Ooo.

It was a good morning, just like the first day. The sun was shining. The birds were singing their sonatas. It was like any other day for our protagonists.

Finn got up late. He was in the middle of another dream. He had a dream that the entire land of Ooo turned into breakfast, but Finn and Jake didn't eat the land of Ooo this time. So, everyone lived.

Then, Jake woke him up. "Hey, wake up, Finn," he said, "I made breakfast sandwiches!" Finn clumsily put his head up and said, "Wow. And I even dreamed about breakfast! What a coincidence. Wait, I still don't know what a coincidence means!" They both laughed.

Finn got his clothes on and went into the living room. He wolfed down the breakfast sandwich in seconds. After he finished though, he thought about the rapid-aging Achor.

 _Is the okay?_ He thought. _You know, with her aging really fast and all? Do you think something happened to her? Do you think something stung her? Do you think she was stung by…the Adgu-_

Suddenly, a phone ring was heard. BMO said, "Ring ring! It's another message from Princess Bubblegum! Ring ring!" Then, Finn and Jake shouted together, "What is it, P.B.?" Then, P.B.'s face appeared. She looked very happy and proud like she did on the first day.

"Finn! Jake!" she shouted, "come to my castle immediately! It's another miracle! Oh, how everything has changed in just five days! Just come as soon as you can! Okay, bye!"

When they heard this, Finn and Jake immediately went out the door, but before they did, Jake said, "BMO, follow the instructions that I told you five days ago. Make sure there are no trespassers! Don't do anything weird! And always remember that I said when Ice King appears at the door don't let him in! Got it? Okay, see you later!" Then, they went out the door.

Outside, Jake grew to a massive size and Finn got on his back. Then, they began riding to the Candy Kingdom. Then, Finn asked Jake a question.

"Jake, um, do you think Achor is okay with her aging and all?" Jake replied, "I, um, have no idea, dude. Don't worry, though! Today, she will stop aging for a while! Heck, maybe she'll stop aging altogether!" Finn stated, "OK, I guess you're right. After all, she has aged so much that it can be put off!"

It turns out Jake was half-right.

When, they got to the entrance, Finn got off of Jake's back and Jake returned to normal size. This time, however, the Banana Guards didn't stop them. They knew our protagonists were on the V.I.P. list.

There was a lot of commotion in the kingdom like last time. The police was everywhere guiding people to the main hall of the castle. Finn and Jake had no trouble getting there; they were all too familiar with the place like last time.

When they got to the main hall, they knew what to do. Everybody made way for Finn and Jake, then, they sat in two throne-like chairs with the words "Highly Reserved" on it. They were really close to P.B. In the back, there were pink curtains blocking…something.

"People of the land of Ooo!" she said, "I have officially planned this event to commemorate another miracle that has happened to me!" She turned her head away from the audience. "You see," she said, "when Achor was born, I thought she would age…normally. But, she kept growing, and growing, and growing, I couldn't keep up. Even though I couldn't keep up, I was filled with joy. I was filled with freedom. I was filled with happiness, confidence, excitement, gratitude, interest, love, passion, pleasure, pride, satisfaction, wonder, and zest. Behind this pink curtain, I have the most beautiful teenager."

Then, suddenly, Finn and Jake had a surprised expression on their faces and thought together, _the Adgup!_

P.B. continued, "My daughter is my dream, desire, and love. My daughter is my confidence, wonder, and zest. My daughter is…my angel." Then, she pulled away the curtain. "My girl's all grown up!"

Achor had this beautiful pink hair, a beautiful dress, and beautiful shoes. They were all sparkling. She looks just like P.B. when she was 13.

Then, all the people of Ooo cheered. Those at the actual event, those listening to the event on the radio, and those watching the event on TV, everybody cheered. There wasn't anybody in Ooo that didn't cheer, except only a couple. And by that couple, I mean Finn and Jake, who were totally surprised. (If you're surprised, too, you're not alone. I was, too.) Then, they decided to cheer along, too.

P.B. concluded, "Finn and Jake, please come up to the stage!" So, Finn and Jake got up from their chairs and went up to the stage.

Then, P.B. handed Achor a microphone and she spoke, "I'd like to thank everybody in Ooo for cheering me on. I'd like to thank my mother for being the best mom there is. Finally, I'd especially like to thank Jake the dog and Finn the human boy, for being the best babysitters ever!" Then, she hugged Finn and Jake.

"Finn and Jake, I'd like you to have this," Achor said. She handed them an album. "It's the family album. This is where all of my precious memories are stored. Someday, I'd like you guys to look back and drift through the memories, and maybe add more pictures!" Everybody cheered.

That evening, Finn and Jake went back to the tree house and with BMO, looked at the album. It was the album of all the precious memories Finn, Jake, P.B., and Achor made, along with all of the princesses, Cinnamon Bun, Mr. Cupcake, and Chocoberry.

"Achor said to add more pictures," Finn said, "Maybe we can do that in the future?"


	3. Marcel

This story involves some explaining to do. So, P.B. had a baby named Achor. She grew up fast because of the Adgup's sting. Achor gave Finn and Jake a family album to add more pictures to. Finn suggested filling the album in the future.

One other person had a baby as well. Guess who?

Here's what happened.

Finn and Jake went to Marceline's cave. They haven't seen her in a long time. Even though her latest appearance was in "The Comet", that was only a cameo. Her latest major appearance was in "Dark Purple", which first aired on February 19, 2015! They haven't seen her for 8 months!

As they went into Marceline's house, they shouted, "Marceline! Marceline! We haven't seen you in forever! Marceline! Marceline! We want to come in!" So, they came in and they gasped.

Her house was a mess. There were chips, chip bags, pork rinds, pork rind bags, beer bottles, and wine bottles all over the floor. There were holes in the walls. There was graffiti that read, "HELP ME THROUGH THIS MONSTROSITY!" And they gasped most of all because Marceline appeared very fat. It looked like she was wasting herself for 8 months! That must be why Finn and Jake didn't see her!

"Oh my Glob! Marceline, what happened to you?" exclaimed Finn. "Marceline, are you okay?" shouted Jake. "No," said Marceline, "I'm not okay. I've been through a lot in the past 8 months." "Why did you have to waste yourself?" shouted Finn, "is that why we didn't see each other for 8 months?" "No!" shouted Marceline, "the truth is…well…I don't want to talk about it but I will anyway. The truth is…well…I'm pregnant."

Finn and Jake gasped. "What's with the chips, chip bags, pork rinds, pork rind bags, beer bottles, and wine bottles all over the floor?" said Jake. "Well," said Marceline, "On the one hand, I've been eating sweet foods, so I might have a girl. On the other hand, I've been eating salty foods, so I might have a boy."

"Oh yeah?" said Finn, "why are there holes in the wall and graffiti that reads, 'HELP ME THROUGH THIS MONSTROSITY'?" "Because it hurts," explained Marceline, "I banged my head against the wall, and I sprayed that message. All because it is a pain."

Finn and Jake were utterly confused. _P.B. just had a baby!_ They thought. _Now there's another one? Wow, things have been taken a turn to the intersection of Weird Street and Say What Avenue._

"We have a question," said Jake. Then, Finn and Jake said together, "Where's the father?"

When she heard this, Marceline's eyes grew wide. Then, she waved from side to side. It didn't seem to stop.

"She's deep thinking again!" said Finn, "like P.B. did when we asked her that same question! Wow. People these days." Jake replied, "Yeah, people are so weird nowadays." Then, Marceline stopped waving from side to side and her eyes shrunk to normal size.

"Oh! You haven't met him yet!" Marceline said, "He's a nice person. Honey! Come out and meet my two bros, Finn and Jake!" Then, a white-skinned person with curly hair, a leather jacket, and spiky shoes stood at the doorway. He looked menacing. Then, his menacing look went away and the person waved and said, "Hello."

"Finn and Jake, this is Dominic," said Marceline, "or you can call him 'Domi'. He's the best man ever. Aren't you, sweetheart?" Then, the thousand-year-old couple kissed. Finn and Jake were disgusted.

Then, a red doorway appeared and beyond it was flames. Then, a person came out of the doorway and it closed up.

That person was Hunson Abadeer, Marceline's evil dad.

"Dad? Will you please?" Marceline shouted. "Who is this mortal that my daughter is kissing?" asked Hunson. "Ugh! Dad, this is Dominic, or 'Domi' for short." Said Marceline to her father. Then, Hunson grabbed the white-skinned man and said to him, "Is it okay for me to suck out your soul?" The white-skinned man replied, "I have no soul." Then, Domi managed to escape his grasp and come back to Marceline.

"Dad! Leave Domi and me alone! Can't you see I…oh…owwww…it hurts…" Marceline whimpered. "Marceline! Are you alright?" Finn and Jake said together. "What does it look like, dweebs?" Marceline replied, "owwww…" Marceline began breathing heavily.

"Marceline's about to have her baby!" shouted Domi. Then, he stood in front of her and said, "Come to daddy…" Hunson pushed him out of the way. "A mere mortal can't do it. Come to grandpa…" "Mr. Abadeer," Domi said, "I am one-thousand-years-old like your daughter, and so I have some rights."

Then, suddenly, Hunson said, "Oh, don't worry. I will just suck out the fetus' soul and I'll be done!" Then, he opened his mouth real wide, then a wisp came out of Marceline's…ahem…private part and Hunson ate it up.

The fetus had no soul.

"Dad!" Marceline shouted, "Give my fetus' soul back…now…please…owwww…" Suddenly, a baby came out of Marceline like a cannonball and Hunson caught it.

Hunson held up the baby high in the air. "It's a boy!" he exclaimed.

The baby already had a full-grown head of hair. Also, he had no eyes! Well, he did have eyes, but they are always closed. Think Brock from Pokémon.

"Whoa," Jake said, "P.B. had a baby and now Marceline had one! The narrator must be really pushing things a lot." Earth to Jake: I'm not. It's called "introducing a new character." "So, let me get this straight, Narry," Finn replied, "Why are you introducing these new characters out of the blue? Don't you have reasons?"

Well, Finn, this story is an idea that came up to me when "The Comet" first aired. I always wondered what happened after the Catalyst Comet came. I just couldn't get it out of my head, so it stuck there. So, I am telling this story to you, the people of Ooo, and the people of the world right now. I'd like to thank everybody for their support and…

"Alright, already, Narry!" Marceline shouted, "just continue the story!" Oh, all right, fine.

Anyway, when Hunson saw that the baby survived without a soul, he didn't know what to say. He just stood there, stunned, like when someone tags you in freeze tag, except he was more surprised than ever.

"Well," said Hunson, "I guess I'm going to do something!" Then, he tickled the baby. "Gootchie gootchie goo…" he said. Then, the unthinkable happened. The baby morphed into a horrible-looking demon. It had blood-red eyes, a forked tongue, and it looked at Hunson, screaming.

Hunson screamed himself. Then, he handed the baby to Marceline, looking totally confused. Then, a portal appeared, Hunson ran into it, and the portal disappeared. Then, the baby returned to normal and it started giggling.

"Wow!" said Marceline, "he scared my dad, and it's the hardest thing in all of Ooo to do so!" Domi then said to the baby, "Whose my little monster? You are!"

"Finn and Jake, I need you to do me a favor," said Marceline, "can you take care of this little monster while we go shopping?" "Sure!" said Finn, "we will make sure that your baby is top notch!" Then, before Domi and Marceline went out the door, Marceline said, "I can't help you how to take care of a baby…" "We know how." Finn and Jake interrupted. Remember Achor? Finn and Jake still remember everything that P.B. taught them, so they were master babysitters. "Alright! Bye!" then, the thousand-year-old couple went out the door.

Finn and Jake remember what you're supposed to do with a baby. "You need to play with it a lot," P.B. echoed in Finn and Jake's minds, "and remember to feed them."

They decided to tickle the baby. "I'll go first, like last time." Finn said. Then, he grabbed the baby and tickled him. "Gootchie gootchie goo…" he said. The baby giggled. His giggle wasn't as sweet as Achor's giggle, but it was still sweet. "Let me go!" shouted Jake, "I hope nothing bad happens this time!" Then, Finn handed him the baby and Jake started tickling him. "Gootchie gootchie goo…" he said. The baby giggled for just a second, then he turned into a demon again. Jake screamed as loud as he could. Then, he started giggling again. Finn giggled as well.

"Aw, man!" Jake whined, "How come the bad things happen to me?" "I don't know," Finn replied, "Maybe you're not good enough with babies?" "Not good enough?" Jake exclaimed, "I had five children with Lady Rainicorn! Five! They survived all the way to adulthood! You call _that_ not good enough with babies? I'll show you!"

Before Jake could punch Finn in the ding-dong, Domi and Marceline came back. "We're back!" Marceline shouted. Suddenly, a horrible smell filled the house. "Ew! What's that horrible smell?" Jake said. Then, they noticed brown stains in the baby's diaper. "Wow! The baby doesn't even cry! He's like a warrior! A young warrior!" "That's it!" Domi exclaimed, "We should name him Marcel, a name that means 'young warrior'!" They all agreed his name would be Marcel. They changed his diaper. Like changing Achor's diaper, it was disgusting.

But little did they know that somebody was watching them from above. Yep, it was the Adgup.

The Adgup had a pleasant time watching Achor grow up fast. It wanted so see it grow, and grow, and grow, until eventually, die. However, the Adgup's sting is only limited to teenage years, so it was only half-pleased.

The Adgup travels all over the land of Ooo looking for newborn babies, and when it finds one, it will hit it with its stinger. The chances of an Adgup missing are very, very, low: 1 in 1,200,980,345. So, it's almost impossible that the Adgup will miss. If you enter his Jum-Jum tree, the chances of getting out are low, but not as low: 1 in 195,755. The Adgup shoots a stinger from its mouth.

It hits Marcel right on the belly.

Yes, like last time, Marcel will grow into a teenager in just five days. It's just sad to see them grow and grow and grow. The Adgup actually has a purpose of aging newborns, but that will come later.

On the second day, Marcel crawled on the floor for the first time. He enjoyed having a lot of room to crawl. "He is cute, but deadly." said Finn.

On the third day, he stood up for the first time. He felt like he is getting somewhere in life. "He will give any monster nightmares." Jake said.

On the fourth day, he began walking for the first time. He loved having some people to love. "He is my greatest invention." Marceline said.

On the fifth day, he began running around Marceline's house. He felt like the freest bird there can be. "He is daddy's little monster." Domi said.

Also on the fifth day, Finn and Jake asked a question. "Listen," said Finn, "I don't really know you, so tell us about yourself!" "Yeah, tell us everything you can about yourself!" said Jake. "Well…" Domi replied, and then he started his backstory.

"…I was born to humans. My full name is Dominic Landon Vicari. My life seemed okay, until my mother died. It's…still pretty sad to talk about. Then, my father started to yell at me, so I ran away. After that, the Great Mushroom War occurred. All my friends died. But I survived. After the war was over, I lived my life as a beggar by the name of "Tommy Sunset." Then, my life started getting better. Jungle Princess adopted me. After that, I started by career in magic and wizardry. I can control just about anything you can think of. I can control fire, ice, water, grass, air, and everything else that was in the land of Ooo. You see, when I met Marceline, she was like a fallen angel. So, I fell in love with her. I confessed my love to her, and she said yes. After a while, I proposed, and she said yes. We had our wedding, but Marceline said that we needed to keep our wedding a secret or else these guys named 'Finn' and 'Jake' wouldn't know. So we did. Then, we had Marcel. Marcel is the happiest thing that has ever happened to me. So, that is my story."

Finn and Jake clapped. "Bravo!" they shouted together.

Anyway, on the sixth day, you can guess what happened.

Finn and Jake went to Marceline's cave. As they went into Marceline's house, they shouted, "Marceline! Marceline! We are ready for taking care of Marcel! Marceline! Marceline! We want to come in!" So, they came in and they gasped.

Domi, Marceline, and Hunson were there. There stood Marcel with a blue sweatshirt and skinny jeans. They all looked excited.

"Finn! Jake!" Marceline shouted. "My baby is all grown up now!" "Yes, my little monster is all grown up!" exclaimed Domi. "It has only been five days!" said Hunson.

Finn and Jake went up to Marcel and he said, "Thank you so much, bros. You guys are the best." He gave Finn and Jake bro fists. "Here. I want you to have this." He said. Then, he handed Finn and Jake pictures. "Those are the pictures of me, you, mom, dad, and grandpa." He said, "I want you to keep them so you can look at them and store the memories somewhere safe. You guys are awesome."

After that, Finn and Jake went back to their tree fort, and with BMO, they looked at the pictures, the memories, everything, and after that, they stored them into the family album.

"There's more where that came from!" Finn said.

By the way, if you thought that this chapter was too repetitive, let me tell you this: Marcel is one of the most important characters in this story. It's just that he didn't know it yet.


	4. The Confession

Finn thought that Achor was really cool. She was gifted in the field of science and has invented a few new machines, such as a pill with all your dietary needs, a microwave that allows users to enter a desired temperature for food, rather than estimate the time needed to warm up, a phone that searches the internet with the user's thoughts rather than their voices, dream-rendering machines, and the list goes on and on. Achor is also fluent in English, German, Korean, and Turkish. Finally, she played the piano very well. Finn believed that Achor was the best.

Achor thought that Finn was really cool. He had a heart for adventure. He had this giant collection of awesome swords. And most of all, he had this distinguishing sense of humor she thought that no one else had. Achor thought that Finn was a good boy, _ein lustiger Mann,_ _최고의_ _검객_ _,_ and _Etrafta olması en iyi adam_. (That's German for "a funny man," Korean for "the best swordsman," and Turkish for "the best guy to have around." I didn't use Google Translate; I used . It's _way_ better.)

However, there turned out to be a problem every now and then. Sometimes, Finn would get really close to Achor. Achor didn't mind, though, because she liked him. Also, Achor would get really close to Finn. Finn didn't mind, though, because he liked her.

One day, Finn got up totally silent. He had his hand on his chin the whole time he was eating breakfast. Jake realized that something was wrong with him. "Finn?" he said, "You okay, buddy? BMO, what's wrong with him?"

Then, BMO said, "Problem Search Mode Engaged! Success! Downloading update 1 of 286!" Jake realized that he hadn't used Problem Search Mode in forever, so it's no surprise that there would be updates. So, he waited a while.

After 25 minutes, BMO said, "Updates complete!" Then, there was a ray of green light coming out of BMO's eyes. It went all around Finn.

After 10 seconds, the ray disappeared and told Jake, "Finn seems to be in love with somebody! He has feelings!" Jake gasped. "Finn!" he exclaimed, "Who do you have feelings for?" Finn didn't answer. "C'mon, Finn! Tell it to me so you can confess to whoever you love!"

Finally, Finn answered, "I am in love with the best lady ever. I am in love with a piano player. I am in love with a lady who is fluent in 4 different languages. I am in love with…Achor!"

Jake gasped like he never gasped before. "Oh, dude," Jake said, "You are in love with Princess Bubblegum's daughter!" "Yeah," Finn replied, "but I don't know how to tell her! I don't know how to confess my feelings to someone! It's been a long time since me and Flame Princess broke up."

Jake went into a speech. "Finn, here's how to confess your love to somebody you have feelings for. There are eight ways you can do this! First up is being traditional. Being traditional is just saying, "I love you." Second is acting romantic. Blow her away with your romantic face, clothes, swords, and humor! The third one is being showy. This is boasting about your love to her. For example, 'We'd be the best couple ever; you should totally date me' is being showy. Fourth is being cute. Girls mainly use this one, but boys do it, too. Act kawaii! The fifth one is probably the worst one to use: being desperate. Seriously, man, never, _ever_ act desperate! Your girl will say no in a heartbeat. Sixth is using a line. An example would be using one of those lines from those plays by William Shake-a-Sphere? William Pizza-face? William Gorilla-breath? I'm not sure about his name. The seventh one is to sing her a song. More specifically, a love song! Sing her that sweet sonata that she always will adore! And last but not least is to give her a present. The more rare the present, the more likely she'll say yes. You got that, bro?"

Finn said, "I'm going to sing her a song!" "That's the spirit!" Jake replied, "but what song? Let's look in the Everything Encyclopedia in the library to look some up."

Then, they headed out to the library and they started to pick out a song. They chose what they thought was the greatest love song of all time, "Something" by the Beatles. "Wait, beetles made this song?" Finn said, "I thought only humans wrote songs about 2,000 years ago!" "No!" Jake replied, "B-E-E-T-L-E-S! The artists' name is 'the B-E-A-T-L-E-S!'" "Oh," Finn replied. He was still confused.

It was six-o'clock in the evening; time for the confession. Finn, with the help of Jake, had to memorize the lyrics, which wasn't really that hard. There were only about 19 lines of lyrics. Anyway, Finn walked up nervously to the castle while Jake was watching him with a hidden security camera. He walked in, walked across the main hall, went upstairs, walked across the hallways, went up to Achor's door…and knocked.

"Hello?" a sweet voice said. Then, Achor went out of the door. "Hi, Finn!" "Listen, there's something I need to tell you that I've been thinking about all day." Finn said. "Sure you can say it, Finn!" she replied. "You can tell me anything!" Finn replied with, "Well, the point is that…well…" Then, he began singing.

"Something in the way she moves

Attracts me like no other lover

Something in the way she woos me

I don't want to leave her now

You know I believe and how

Somewhere in her smile she knows

That I don't need no other lover

Something in her style that shows me

Don't want to leave her now

You know I believe and how

You're asking me will my love grow

I don't know, I don't know

You stick around now it may show

I don't know, I don't know

Something in the way she knows

And all I have to do is think of her

Something in the things she shows me

Don't want to leave her now

You know I believe and how."

Achor stood there in her doorway, looking really confused.

Finn continued, "Oh, dearest Achor, 'I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.' (It's a quote from John Green's book The Fault in Our Stars.) Everything you have is as beautiful as the stars."

Achor's eyes glittered.

Finn continued, "The point is that…I love you. So, Achor," he turned his head to the side, "dearest Achor, the most beautiful being in all of Ooo, will you be my sweetheart?" Then, he winked.

There was a long silence. The whole entire castle was quiet. Finn's tree house was quiet. After what appeared to be a minute and a half, Achor finally exclaimed, "Yes! Of course I will be your sweetheart! I love the Beatles and I love The Fault in Our Stars! Oh, I am just so happy!" Then, she hugged Finn.

Everybody who was watching cheered. The cheers weren't as great as when Achor was born, but it was still a great cheer.

Back at the tree house, Finn busted in with Achor in his arms and shouted, "She said yes!" Then, Finn, Achor, Jake, and BMO all grouped together into one massive bear hug. "I knew you could do it, Finn!" Jake said. "Yay! Finn has a girlfriend!" BMO exclaimed.

Then, everybody had the time of their lives. Finn and Achor started to slow dance, Jake cooked cupcakes to celebrate, and BMO started to sing.

After the "party," Achor left and Jake said, "Finn, remember what I said about all those tiers?" "Yeah, I do remember," Finn replied, "but it's been such a long time that now, I basically don't."

Jake broke into another speech. "Listen, those tiers…well…I'll confess that they don't really apply to anybody other than Lady Rainicorn and I." Then, he made the shapes of what looked like stairs with his body and continued his speech, "Tier 1 is hugging. Tier 2 is kissing. Now, right about at Tier 13 is marriage. Tiers 14 and 15, however, stay away from! Don't ever go near Tier 14! And especially, never, ever do Tier 15! You got that, bro?"

Finn was hardly paying attention. The only words he heard were _Tier 14_ and _Tier 15_.

Finn always wondered what those two tiers were. He just wanted to know _so badly._ He just wanted to get Tiers 1 through 13 done, then, he wanted to do Tier 14 and probably do… _Tier 15_.

Little did Jake know that there were two more tiers after that. They were Tiers 16 and 17. Even if Jake knew, he would tell Finn to stay away from them.

I can tell you Tiers 1 through 13 with ease. However, you have to find out yourself what Tiers 14, 15, 16, and 17 are because this is only a T-rated story.

Tier 1 is hugging. Tier 2 is kissing. Tier 3 is the first date. Tier 4 is asking about her relatives. Tier 5 is cuddling. Tier 6 is the second date. Tier 7 is controlling your limerence and lust. Tier 8 is deciding who is the boss of the relationship. Tier 9 is working together to build a healthy relationship. Tier 10 is maintaining an aging couple. Tier 11 is buying her a very nice ring. Tier 12 is popping the question. Finally, Tier 13 is, as Jake said, marriage.

Tiers 14 through 17 are a bit difficult to explain. As I said, this is a T-rated story, so you have to do some research in order to give the answer. If you have an answer, let me know.

Anyway, back to the story. Finn and Achor are a wonderful couple together. They love each other so much, it's very hard to separate them. They even got from Tier 1 to Tier 2 in just three minutes. Oh, how they loved to smooch. They smooched all day long, only stopping to breath or eat. They traveled fast in the tiers. Their place skyrocketed up. They went from Tier 2, to Tier 3, to Tier 4, and finally, after only a few days, they were all the way up at Tier 10.

All this time that the teenage couple was together, Princess Bubblegum tried to figure out why they went up the tiers so fast. Jake said, "They're making a lot of progress! They went from hugging, to kissing, to their first date, and now, they're all the way up to maintaining an aging couple! They go together like peanut butter and jelly." "That's what I'm trying to figure out," P.B. said, "If I don't know why they are going fast in their relationship, the whole land of Ooo could be in danger!" Jake laughed. "You're so funny, Peebles!" he said, "You really are."

All next week, P.B. figured out why they were making progress like a cheetah. With the help of Cinnamon Bun and Flame Princess, she was able to figure out the formula that stabilized Finn and Achor's relationship.

Then, she had an answer; she called it the "F+A relation theorem." She had found out the key formula to their relationship: _R=ca_ _2_ _,_ where R=relationship level, c=communication, and a=affection. She believes that multiplying the communication level and affection level and squaring the result determine the relationship level. The communication and affection levels can be up to 100, so a relationship level can be up to 100,000,000. She also believes that Finn and Achor communicate with each other a lot and love each other a lot, so the relationship level is almost at its maximum. _If only,_ P.B. thought, _that one of them will propose to the other, so the level will be at its max!_

P.B. shared her new discovery with all her people. They thought she had discovered the key to life, the universe, and everything. Peebles had just set a world record to be the first person to develop an equation that explains relationship level.

Anyway, if Finn and Achor continue to be at this rate, then they will be sweethearts until the day of redemption. However, little did they know that something else would get in the way.


	5. Two Rejections

So, Finn confessed his love for Achor in the last chapter, and she said yes. Those two are the most wonderful couple anybody could hope for. However, something else got in the way. But before I could tell you that story, I have to tell you _this_ story…

I hope you didn't forget about Marcel, because he is in this chapter, and he plays a fairly large role. Also, I hope you didn't forget about Lumpy Space Princess, because she is in this chapter as well.

Marcel had been busy for the past week. He travels around Ooo to collect data for his upcoming fan-fiction. He also carries a diary and a sketchbook wherever he goes. This day, he traveled to the Ice Kingdom. He was constantly cold and barely made it out alive.

"Dear Diary," he wrote, "Today, I traveled to the austere Ice Kingdom. It was like a thousand degrees below zero, man! I inspected all the numerous, ahem, "citizens" and drew pictures of them in my sketchbook. Ice King is a total butt! He is just plain kooky, man. For example, rumor has it that he likes to fill his bathtub with milk and pretend he's a magical angel floating through the Milky Way. Yuck! This is why I'm never coming back again. Good riddance to bad rubbish! Sincerely, Marcel the Human Vampire."

LSP had also been busy. She had been traveling as well all through Ooo, but not because she wanted to write a fan-fiction, but she wanted to sell her new tell-all book she made in the episode "Gotcha!" Sales have been pretty high, and she's hoping that sales would be like this.

Little did they know that they would meet…and reject each other. Well, the first rejected the second, but the second had feelings for the first. Guess which ones are the first and second?

It was a pretty normal day for the two journalists. They were in the Candy Kingdom; one was taking notes and the other was selling a book. Finn was actually with LSP because he actually promised to help raise sales of the book. I ask you: would you trust a giant, lumpy, purple blob of goo?

It all started to get crazy when the three people passed each other without saying a word. Suddenly, LSP stopped. Finn stopped too. Then, LSP saw his back for a few seconds, and then she said to Finn:

"Oh, my, Glob. Finn, look at his lumps. They are just so big." This was disturbing for me to hear, but it was true. "He looks like one of those smoothies' boyfriends. But, you know, who even understands those smoothies? They only talk to him because he sounds like a total…"

Suddenly, rap music started playing in the background. It had a simple beat that went "C C C E-flat D-flat D-flat E-flat D-flat" and it repeated over and over.

LSP continued "…surfer dude, okay? I mean, his lumps, are so big. I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there, I mean—gross. Look! He's just so...white! And by the way, MR. NARRATOR WILL YOU PLEASE STOP PLAYING RAP MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND I'M HAVING A MOMENT HERE!"

Fine, I'll turn it off. Happy now, LSP? "Yes, now leave me alone!" she said.

Anyway, LSP said, "Oh, Glob, Finn, he is just so hot! I just have to ask him out!" Then, she flew toward the human vampire without a second thought.

"Um, excuse me?" she whimpered. "What do you want?" Marcel asked, "Just make it quick!" Then, LSP said, "Look, I have to tell you this: your lumps are just so big."

Marcel thought, _my lumps?_

Then, LSP sang,

"I like big butts and I can not lie

You other brothers can't deny

That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist

And a round thing in your face

You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough

'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed

Deep in the jeans she's wearing

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh baby, I wanna get with you

And take your picture

My homeboys tried to warn me

But that butt you got makes me so horny

Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin

You say you wanna get in my Benz?

Well, use me, use me

'Cause you ain't that average groupie

I've seen them dancin'

To hell with romancin'

She's sweat, wet,

Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines

Sayin' flat butts are the thing

Take the average black man and ask him that

She gotta pack much back

So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)

Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)

Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)

Shake that healthy butt!

Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)

Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)

(LA face with Oakland booty)

 _[Sir Mix-a-Lot]_

I like 'em round, and big

And when I'm throwin' a gig

I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal

Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home

And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh

I ain't talkin' bout Playboy

'Cause silicone parts are made for toys

I want 'em real thick and juicy

So find that juicy double

Mix-a-Lot's in trouble

Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

So I'm lookin' at rock videos

Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes

You can have them bimbos

I'll keep my women like Flo Jo

A word to the thick soul sisters, I wanna get with ya

I won't cuss or hit ya

But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*

Till the break of dawn

Baby got it goin' on

A lot of simps won't like this song

'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it

And I'd rather stay and play

'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong

And I'm down to get the friction on

So, ladies! (Yeah!) Ladies! (Yeah)

If you wanna roll in my Mercedes (Yeah!)

Then turn around! Stick it out!

Even white boys got to shout

Baby got back!

Baby got back!

Yeah, baby... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection.

36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

 _[Sir Mix-a-Lot]_

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda

But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda

My anaconda don't want none

Unless you've got buns, hun

You can do side bends or sit-ups,

But please don't lose that butt

Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role

And tell you that the butt ain't gold

So they toss it and leave it

And I pull up quick to retrieve it

So Cosmo says you're fat

Well I ain't down with that!

'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'

And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'

To the beanpole dames in the magazines:

You ain't it, Miss Thing!

Give me a sister, I can't resist her

Red beans and rice didn't miss her

Some knucklehead tried to diss

'Cause his girls are on my list

He had game but he chose to hit 'em

And I pull up quick to get wit 'em

So ladies, if the butt is round,

And you want a triple X throw down,

Dial 1-900-MIXALOT

And kick them nasty thoughts

Baby got back!

Baby got back!

(Little in the middle but she got much back)

Before the end of the song, Marcel had never been more confused in his life.

LSP continued, "You are just the hottest smoothie I've ever met. You look like a surfer dude! I just can't hold it!" Then, she stuck her arm out. "Marcel," she said, "Hottest of the hotties, will you go out with me?"

Marcel yelled, "NO! You're just too…lumpy! You sound like a boy! Go away, man! I don't want to be married to a guy! Just…leave NOW!"

LSP went back to Finn and cried, "Lumpy? I'm a guy? No I'm not! I'm a princess like every other princess!" Finn chuckled. "It's not funny!" she yelled, "I'm running away and I'm never coming back again!" Then, she retreated into the nearby woods. Nobody had seen her for a while after that.

After that, Finn went with Marcel to help him with his fan-fiction. Finn did better than he did with LSP. It's maybe because you can trust a human vampire, but you can't trust a giant, lumpy, purple blob of goo.

It was a pretty normal day for the journalist. He was in the Candy Kingdom. It all started to get crazy when three people passed each other without saying a word. Suddenly, Marcel stopped. Finn stopped too. Then, Marcel saw a girl's back for a few seconds, and then he said to Finn:

Wait a minute! Before he could say anything, Finn interrupted, "Hey! What are you doing, man? Are you snooping at my girlfriend's butt? Guess what, pal: it's not going to happen!"

Marcel turned to Finn. "This is your girlfriend?" he asked. "Yes," said Finn, "and I will do anything to stop you from asking out Achor!"

"Oh yeah?" Marcel said. "Yeah!" Finn replied. "Well, in that case, will you let me ask out Achor?" said Marcel. Finn could only mutter, "Um…" "I win." Marcel said. Then, he went towards the candy person without a second thought.

"Um, excuse me?" he whimpered. "What do you want?" Achor asked, "I don't have much time on my hands!" Then, Marcel said, "Look, I have to tell you this: I need an oxygen tank, because you take my breath away."

Achor thought, _hoo boy._

Then, Marcel nervously sang,

"You ain't nothin' but a hound dog

cryin' all the time.

You ain't nothin' but a hound dog

cryin' all the time.

Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit

and you ain't no friend of mine.

When they said you was high classed,

well, that was just a lie.

When they said you was high classed,

well, that was just a lie.

You ain't never caught a rabbit

and you ain't no friend of mine."

Wrong song.

Marcel continued, "You are just the hottest girl I've ever met. You look like a guardian angel! I just can't hold it!" Then, he stuck his arm out. "Achor," he said, "Hottest of the hotties, will you go out with me?"

Achor yelled, "NO! You're just too stupid! Don't you know I'm already dating Finn? You are just a stupid boy! I don't want to be with you, you random person! Just…leave NOW!"

Marcel went back to Finn and cried, "Oh my Glob, I guess you're right, Finn. I may be stupid after all." Finn chuckled. "It's not funny!" he yelled, "I'm running away and I'm never coming back again!" Then, he retreated into the nearby woods. Nobody had seen him for a while after that.

Yes, two rejections in one chapter. Here's something you need to find out before you go: the relationship level is almost the same as the rejection level.

This is something P.B. didn't find out herself. Where the relationship level is _R=ca_ _2_ _,_ the rejection level is _r=is_ _2_ , where r=rejection level, i=interest in other guys, and s=how stupid the person confessing looks. By squaring the interest in other guys and how stupid the person confessing looks, you will find the rejection level!

Also, this chapter was important, but not as important as what chapter is about to come up.


	6. The Proposal

One of the best parts of this entire story is about to come up. This part is one of the most important parts of this entire story. This is important because it leads up to…the 13th tier.

Anyway, I already told you that Finn and Achor is a really close couple. I haven't told you, however, that Finn and Achor were the best and closest couple in all of the land of Ooo! Remember back in Chapter 4 when P.B. thought to herself, _If only that one of them will propose to the other, so the level will be at its max!_ Well, that is about to happen in this chapter. Right now. For real.

Anyway, there seemed to be a problem with Finn and Achor every now and then. Finn would wonder about proposing to her. Oh, how he wanted to do it, to take her to Love Tree Point, just wait for the right moment and then pop the question. Then, she would say yes, marry, and perform the last 4 tiers. _I am so worried right now,_ he thought, _I just want to propose to her, but I don't know how!_

Also, there seemed to be another problem, this time with Achor. She would wonder about asking him what is under that popular white hat. Oh, how she wanted to do it, to take him somewhere private and reserved, just wait for the right moment and then ask the question. Then, he would take off his hat, she would be stunned, and all would be well. _I just want to know right now,_ she thought, _I just want to ask him, but I don't know how!_

Finally, Finn had enough and decided to take his problem to P.B. He took Jake with him. Finn thought that P.B. was the smartest person he knew and would do anything to help him. Then, the two protagonists went up to the castle and knocked on the door.

P.B. went out of the door and said, "What's up, Finn?" Finn noticed that she had new shoes, so he said, "Hey, Peebles, I got one question for you," he pointed to P.B.'s shoes, "WHAT ARE THO-" "No," P.B. interrupted, "seriously, guys, what do you want?" Finn said, "I have a problem, and I wanted to see if you can solve it for me." "Of course I can!" P.B. replied, "I usually can! Come in, boys!" Then, Finn and Jake entered the castle.

In the lab, Finn said, "OK, princess, here is my problem: I want to propose to Achor…" P.B. gasped. "…But I don't know how." Finn said. He continued, "Seriously, I don't know the right timing to pop the question!"

P.B. replied, "Hmm…Finn, I really can't help you propose to my daughter. It's been a while since…ahem…her father popped the question, so I really can't give you any advice." "Aw, barfs." Finn said.

Jake stepped into the conversation. "Look," he said, "Here's something you need to know: when she is thinking about you, that's the right timing. The problem is that it's impossible to know for sure when she's thinking about you. Unless, that is, you can read minds."

P.B. said, "But if I had the patience, I can make a machine to alert you when Achor is thinking about you. It'll just take a few hours." "See?" Jake said to Finn, "There is still hope! You just need to wait a couple of hours." Then, Finn sat in the waiting room outside. (There's a waiting room?) He sat in the fluffy chairs, sweating. _Do I think Peebles can invent something that will tell me when Achor is thinking about me?_ Finn thought, _if so, she's the bomb!_

Then, Cinnamon Bun sat in the chair next to him. He looks like he'd been through a happy moment in life. He asked Finn, "What are you here for?" Finn was flabbergasted. "None of your business!" he yelled. "Seriously, Finn, if I don't know soon I'm going to explode!"

Finn knew Cinnamon Bun was joking, but he decided to tell him anyway. He told him, "P.B. is trying to make a machine to alert me when my girlfriend Achor is thinking about me. It'll help me propose to her at Love Tree Point!" "Really?" Cinnamon Bun asked. "Yes, really." Finn replied.

Cinnamon Bun told Finn, "Well, Flame Princess proposed to me at the train station, and I wasn't even thinking about her!" "Really?" Finn asked, "no wonder you look so happy!" "Yes, really," Cinnamon Bun replied, "I was confused for a second, but I said yes. Then, we had our wedding. You really don't have to propose when she's thinking about you, unless you two are really close."

Finn wasn't paying attention to the last sentence. "Wait, Flame Princess is only 16! How can she marry?" Before Cinnamon Bun could reply, a voice came in through the intercom. "Cinnamon Bun?" it said, "You're needed in Dr. Ice Cream's office." Cinnamon Bun got up and said, "Bye, Finn! I'll see you at your wedding!"

The next three hours were kind of painful for Finn. The worry got worse. That was when she couldn't stop shaking up and down. Then, he howled softly, with saliva down his mouth, and began flapping his arms like a bird. Then, P.B. came out and exclaimed, "Eureka! I created the first mind-thinking-about machine!" Then, Finn jumped up and down. P.B. tapped him gently on the shoulder, and he was back to normal. (She's magic, I tell you.)

"Okay, so here's how it works," P.B. told Finn, "you wear this little tab on your arm. There is a link to Achor's mind on that tab. When she is thinking about you or any quality about you, the tab will beep and you can propose! The beep will only be heard by you, so you don't have to worry." Then, Peebles placed the tab on his arm under his shirt. "Thanks, Peebles," he said, "With this tab, I could have my wedding!"

As for Achor, she didn't worry as much as Finn did. There still was a worry, though, so she did a few meditations while praying to Glob. Then, after a few minutes, she wasn't worried anymore! She was back to her usual, bubbly self.

Later that night, Finn invited Achor to a date on Love Tree Point. The weather was absolutely perfect. No clouds, no rain, no snow; perfect for seeing the most beautiful sunset you have ever seen in your life. Finn and Achor brought a picnic basket. They packed peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, potato chips, and ice cream. (Chips and ice cream. In fact, they would dip the chips in the ice cream. See a coincidence here?) After they were finished, they looked at the beautiful sunset.

Finn actually planned ahead. He actually paid attention to Tier 11. If you remember it, Tier 11 is buying the lady a nice ring. Finn spent all of the money P.B. gave him to buy the most beautiful ring in the world. It had diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, you name it. Finn thought that she would love it.

Right when the sunset began to take place, Achor thought, _Wow, those peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, potato chips, and ice cream were very good! Oh, the sunset is about to take place! Wow, isn't it nice? Isn't it nice going with your boyfriend to the most lovey-dovey place in all of Ooo? Speaking of him, he is really fu-_

Suddenly, Finn's tab beeped. He heard this immediately, and then said to Achor, "I'm having a lot of fun today." Achor suddenly heard this and said to Finn, "Me too."

After the sudden comment, Achor continued to think, _Oh my gosh, my boyfriend just said he had fun! I had fun too. I had fun dipping the chips in ice cream. The narrator thought it was a coincidence, but I don't see the meaning. I just love Finn. He has great sword ski-_

Suddenly, Finn's tab beeped again. He heard this immediately, and then said to Achor, "You know, I wish I could stay with you, forever..." Achor suddenly heard this and said to Finn, "Aw, you're so sweet!" She laughed.

After she laughed, Achor continued to think, _That thing my boyfriend said was very sweet! I loved that! Think about it: we being together, until the day of redemption. We would be together until the end. I would love being with Finn. After all, he is one of the funniest boys in all of the land of Oo-_

Suddenly, Finn's tab beeped for the third time. He heard this immediately, and then said to Achor, "By the way, there is something I would like to ask you..." Achor suddenly heard this and said to Finn, "Oh, what's that?" She continued to look at her boyfriend.

She then thought, _Finn has a question for me! I wonder what it is! Oh, wait a minute…I have a question for him, too! The meditation and praying only distracted me from it! I am so worried now! Please, Finn! I just want to see what is under that white ha_

Suddenly, Finn's tab beeped for the fourth and final time. He heard this immediately, and then said to Achor, "Achor, oh dearest Achor, daughter of the hyper-cute Princess Bubblegum…to which you are cuter, but anyway, dearest Achor…" Then, he pulled out the ring and opened the case. "…Will you marry me?"

Achor suddenly heard this and said to Finn, "Wait a minute, I have a question of my own…can you take off your hat, please?" Then, her boyfriend took off his hat with a flourish.

Achor gasped.

Finn didn't have any ordinary hair. Why, he had the most beautiful, blond, and shiny hair in all of the land of Ooo. When Achor saw this, she didn't know what to say. After a silence, Achor finally exclaimed, "Yes! I will marry you! You have the most gorgeous hair ever! Oh, I am just so happy!" Then, she hugged Finn. The other couples that were in the area clapped, cheered, and whistled.

Back at the tree house, Finn busted in without his hat with Achor in his arms again and shouted, "She said yes!" Then, Finn, Achor, Jake, and BMO all grouped together into one massive bear hug again. "I knew you could do it, Finn!" Jake said. "Yay! Finn has a wife!" BMO exclaimed.

Then, everybody had the time of their lives again. Finn and Achor started to slow dance again, Jake cooked cupcakes to celebrate again, and BMO started to sing again.

Then, Finn, Achor, Jake, and BMO busted into P.B.'s room in her castle and Finn exclaimed, "She said yes!" "Woo hoo!" P.B. said, " _Oh mein Glob hat meine Tochter-einen Mann! Ich kann es nicht glauben!"_ Achor replied with, " _Ich kann nicht glauben, auch Mama!"_

The next day, P.B. arranged a royal meeting in the main hall. "I would like to congratulate Finn and Achor," she said, "For being our new soon-to-be-married couple!" Everybody cheered. Finn and Achor hugged. "We will have our wedding at the main plaza!" P.B. continued.

Little did they know, however, that they would have to do something else to get those two married.


	7. Too Young to Marry

Okay, picking up from the last chapter, remember when I told you that they would have to do something else to get Finn and Achor married? Well, you get to find out now. Okay, here's the story starting from the end of the last chapter…

The day after Finn proposed to Achor, P.B. arranged a royal meeting in the main hall. Thousands of people were there, including all of the princesses. The news crew was there. In fact, almost everybody that lived in the land of Ooo was there. Finn and Achor were on the stage.

"I would like to congratulate Finn and Achor," she said, "For being our new soon-to-be-married couple!" Everybody cheered. Finn and Achor hugged. "We will have our wedding at the main plaza!" P.B. continued.

"Did somebody say _wedding_?" a voice asked.

The people stopped smiling and started questioning where that voice came from. They looked all over the main hall, some even looking as far as the doorway to another room. Finally, someone had turned around and gasped. Then, all of the people turned around and gasped.

It was a person. No, it was an insane person. It was a person so insane that even the most insane people today wouldn't be able to beat him in an insane contest. This person is the earl of somewhere, where all of his people have some sort of mental issue. His kingdom has so many problems; even the Fire and Ice Kingdom are better places to live. Also, the person was sour, as he was made out of a sour food. You can easily swallow him up if you dared to.

It was the Earl of Lemongrab.

Actually, he was Lemongrab 3. The Lemongrabs have a complicated story. The first Lemongrab was created by P.B. It was the first one of her experiments to go wrong. Lemongrab grew insane and blamed her for making him this way, so P.B. made another Lemongrab and called it Lemongrab 2. Eventually, Lemongrab 1 ate some of Lemongrab 2 up and Lemongrab 1 became fat, and Lemongrab 2 became malnourished. Later, Lemongrab 1 ate Lemongrab 2 up completely, Lemongrab 1 exploded, and P.B. created a new Lemongrab with Lemongrab 1's remains. She called it Lemongrab 3.

Confusing, right?

Anyway, Lemongrab 3 began breathing heavily and walking up slowly towards the stage like he was in a duel. He began to breathe out his lungs (metaphorically) because he was breathing so hard. Then, he began to gradually scream until he screamed like a banshee, tensing up as hard as he could, then, he stuck his hand out and pointed…straight at the teenage couple.

"TOO YOUNG TO MARRY!" he yelled. Then, sticking his head up, he howled like a wolf with saliva trickling down his chin. He made saliva bubbles and began rolling on the floor, laughing maniacally. "The boy's 16!" he shouted, "Hee hee! And the girl's 14! 16 and 14! Hee hee! 16 and 14! HA HA HA! YOU THINK THAT'S GREATER THAN 18? I DON'T THINK SO!" As Lemongrab 3 continued laughing, Achor asked her mother a question:

"Who is that?" she asked, "And why is he interfering with our relationship?" "Well," P.B. replied, "His name is the Earl of Lemongrab. Actually, he's Lemongrab 3. Narry explained the confusing story earlier, if you listened to him."

Achor gasped. "You created Lemongrab?" she exclaimed, "Did you use the wrong potion?" It is actually unknown why Lemongrab got insane. To them, at least. I know it and it's a secret. It's the most secret secret in all of secrets in this universe. And now, I'm going to tell you. Here we go:

What do you think?

Yep; that's the secret. I hope you learned something today!

Anyway, Finn said, "Well, what do we do? We can't marry at this age, so what do we do?" Jake replied, "Wait until Achor is 18." Everybody gasped. "Wait?" Finn replied, "Are you insane?" "Yeah, I guess you're right." Jake said. Then, there was a silence. That was because everybody was thinking of a way to make Finn and Achor have their wedding despite the age. "I got it," Peppermint Butler said, "How about we go west of the Mountain Kingdom, go to the Jum-Jum tree, battle the Adgup until we get his syrup, we turn the syrup into spray, and spray it on Finn and Achor?"

Everybody gasped like they've never gasped before.

As you know from my stories in previous chapters, the Adgup is a monster that resides in the Jum-Jum tree west of the Mountain Kingdom. He won't come out until the day of redemption, but you can enter, but you will face deadly obstacles. The odds of getting out are pretty low: 1 in 195,755. You can obtain syrup made from the Adgup's sting. This syrup is the substance that ages babies. Then, using a particle re-arranger, you can turn that syrup into a spray. Finally, you can spray it on a maximum of two people. The spray ages the people. To have the spray, you have to enter the tree. Risk or reward!

Jake said, "Ooh! The Adgup! Hey, Achor! Here's a keyboard! Peppermint Butler! Here's a guitar!" Then, Jake handed Achor a keyboard, Peppermint Butler a guitar, and himself his violin.

What Jake was about to do was perform a song. This song has been around for a hundred years, but the Adgup has been around only when one dimension split into two. That's because in this second dimension, The Adgup was born before the dimensions split, even thought he was born during the split. Confusing, right?

Anyway, the song was called "The World Stops Turning" and it has been a cheery folk song even though it has a dark feel to it. It was like one of those songs where it was happy-sounding but actually depressing. An example would be "Some Nights" by fun. Also, the song's tempo would get faster and faster every time the chorus ends. After the musicians prepared to play, they started playing. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "The World Stops Turning," Violin and vocals by Jake, piano by Achor, and guitar by Peppermint Butler. (Feel free to make up your own melody. It has to be kind of cheery, though!)

"20 miles west of the kingdom of mounts

Lies the Adgup's Jum-Jum tree

He won't come out 'til it has been announced

That the world is about to stop turning

If you be real brave and be really bold

You just might get his juice

Souls of dark and skeletons of gold

Will make sure that you're abused

It has been told that he won't come out

Until the world starts to churn,

The land of Ooo that he will go about

Until the world stops turning

In order to get in his Jum-Jum tree

You need the secret password

That password is even a secret to me

That door is your first hazard

Now that was just the beginning

There still is a long way to go

The monsters will be at you 'til the bottom of the inning

Just do not die here, bro!

It has been told that he won't come out

Until the world starts to churn,

The land of Ooo that he will go about

Until the world stops turning

Now look here at this poor mere mortal

Who was really insane

He tried to escape using this portal

But he just wasn't using his brain

It has been said that the Adgup ate him up

He gave him no mercy,

It has been said that he turned him into sup

His world gone topsy-turvy

It has been told that he won't come out

Until the world starts to churn,

The land of Ooo that he will go about

Until the world stops turning."

Everyone clapped.

Finn said, "Okay, who can go though? There's a pretty high chance you're going to die in there, so I don't want to go." "Me neither." Jake said. "I don't want to." Achor said. "Not me." Everyone else said. "I'll go," P.B. said.

Everybody gasped. "I will do anything for my daughter." P.B. said, "However, I can't go alone. I have to go with someone else. I have to go with someone fast, strong, and most importantly, immortal." Then, P.B. thought, _Marceline!_

P.B. immediately went out of the castle and to the cave where Marceline's house is. She knocked on her door. "Marceline! Marceline! Marceline!" Marceline came out. "What? What? What?" she replied. P.B. spoke in a very fast way, "Look I need help Finn and my daughter are too young to marry and I need the syrup from the Adgup please can you go with me to the Jum-Jum tree west of the Mountain Kingdom if you do it I'll owe you something!"

Marceline was totally confused. Then, she said, "No! Never! Not in a million years!" She slammed the door.

 _Great, just great,_ P.B. thought, _I just lost my final chance in getting Finn and Achor married._

Marceline opened her door. "Just kidding!" she exclaimed, "Of course I'll go with you!" P.B. was not amused by the joke.

Afterwards, they traversed the land of Ooo until eventually, they went 20 miles west of the Mountain Kingdom and they saw a giant tree with blue, sagging leaves with pink specks all over it; it was the Jum-Jum tree.

They went up to the secret entrance. "In order to open the secret door," said P.B. "We need the password!" Then, Marceline picked up a small slab with tiny words on it. "That's it!" P.B. exclaimed, "That slab is the key to figuring out the password!" Marceline handed the slab to her. "It's in Morse code!" P.B. said. Then, she took the time to figure the code out until she said, "It says, 'You must recite the Jum-Jum Entrance Hymn in Latin to enter.'" Then, she sung, " _Aperi ostium, Adgup enim sumus deinde prosternebat."_ Suddenly, the roots of the tree gave way and revealed an entrance. "Get ready for the time of your life," P.B. said. Then, they entered.

As P.B. said, they had the time of their lives. They remembered to take turns trudging through the 40 obstacles that stood in the way of Finn and Achor's marriage. They swung on vines. They battled souls of dark and skeletons of gold like the song said. And, most importantly, they had fun.

Some of the 40 obstacles are as follows: traversing a jungle gym, playing the Song of Souls on an ocarina, battling a room full of enemies, turned a wheel not too short and not too far, answered a riddle, helped a poor beggar, swung across an acid lake, battling more enemies, played the Song of Souls on a stylophone, traversing a deadly jungle gym, wrestling alligators, wrestling crocodiles, wrestling a long-dead wrestler, (not Hulk Hogan) answered another riddle, figured out which came first: the chicken or the egg, rode a skeleton horse, helped a poor soul return to his person, helped another beggar, remove all the red from the room, and so on. There are just way too many for me to list. You'll fall asleep, trust me!

Finally, They were at the entrance of the Adgup's chamber. Marceline said, "Oh my Glob, I'm so tired! I solved a whole bunch of riddled, battled a lot of monsters, and wrestled a what I think is a famous dead wrestler!" P.B. handed her a soda, then she drank it and felt energized.

Then, they entered the chamber. There was green slimy stuff everywhere. P.B. took a sample of it and thought this was the syrup, but it was in fact…(get ready to laugh) its poop. "So there's poop everywhere?" Marceline asked, "That's real mature, Narry!"

Suddenly, they heard a silent scream. They became alert, and then they heard another one. Then, one by one, they were being pelted by screams until they stopped. Then, something stomped on the ground with mighty force. It was so forceful that it could collapse the Candy Castle.

It was the Adgup.

When they saw him, P.B. and Marceline didn't know what to say. They just stared at each other in silence. They were really excited and scared to see the Adgup for the very first time. Then, the Adgup spoke.

"Why hello, there, mortals," he said, "What are your names?" P.B. said, "My name is Bonnibel Bubblegum, princess of the Candy Kingdom, and she's Marceline Abadeer, the Vampire Queen."

"So," the Adgup replied, "I've heard about you two. Aren't you the one whose daughter is a very talented scientist? And aren't you the one whose son is a traveling sketch artist?" "Yes," P.B. replied, "I have one question: what have you done to my daughter?" "Yeah, and what have you done to my son?" Marceline asked. The Adgup shrugged.

"Look," he said, "I have one purpose for doing that sort of thing. You see, I want you to avoid changing gross diapers," the Adgup laughed. "But still, that's my reason." "Give us your syrup!" Marceline exclaimed. "Never!" the Adgup replied. "Then this means war! WAR!" Marceline yelled. The Adgup stood on his hind legs and replied, "Bring it!" Then, they had a big fight.

P.B. and Marceline were extraordinary during the fight. They did as good as Finn and Jake do when they do their best. They were doing fine until The Adgup tried to grab them. P.B. escaped, but Marceline didn't.

"So, Marceline," the Adgup said, "Every day is a bad day for me. I wait and wait for the day of redemption, and now the time has come! I've been waiting 100 years for this!" Then, the Adgup shot a stinger from its mouth and it hit Marceline in the face.

However, there was one catch.

Marceline was already 1,000 years old. The Adgup's stinger doesn't work on people who are 1,000 years old. Once a person is 1,000 years old, he or she loses a protein that is needed for the Adgup's stinger to work. It's science!

Marceline plucked the stinger from her face. "Oh yeah?" she replied, "I am 1,000 years old, so your stinger doesn't work! Also, you do realize I…am…" Then, she transformed into a giant bat. "I am a vampire queen."

She managed to escape the Adgup's grasp and beat him up. It was very satisfying for Marceline. She beat him up as hard as she could. When, she was finished, the Adgup was lying unconscious. Then, there was a rumbling.

"Quick," P.B. exclaimed, "Let's get the syrup before this place collapses!" Then, they managed to milk the syrup from the stinger that hit Marceline's face. Then, they got out of there just in time; right when they got out, the Jum-Jum tree collapsed.

P.B. brought a miniature particle re-arranger, and so, P.B. managed to mix up the particles in the syrup and create the spray. Then, she put the spray in an empty shaving cream can. "Why did you turn it into spray?" Marceline asked. "You'll see." P.B. replied.

Then, they got back into the castle and P.B. announced to everybody, "Attention! I got the spray! Finn and Achor, get into positions!" They got into positions. "Stand back, everybody!" So, everybody stood back. Then, in a poised manner, P.B. shook the can, pushed down on the can and sprayed.

Finn and Achor grew many changes.

Finn got taller and his voice got a bit deeper. There was a wide strand of hair sticking out of his hat. Achor got taller, too, but her voice only changed a tiny bit. Her hair also grew a bit. When they saw each other, they hugged. Everybody cheered.

"Wow, I am so tall!" 18-year-old Finn said with his deepened voice. "I know, right, it's so weird! We're so excited for our wedding!" 18-year-old Achor said. Then, Finn and Achor kissed. Everybody cheered again.

Lemongrab 3 scratched his head, confused at the situation.


	8. The Candy Wedding

It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and there was not one cloud in sight. It was gorgeous. However, it was an even more beautiful day in the plaza of the Candy Kingdom.

That was because it was the day of Finn and Achor's wedding. Thousands of people were there, including all of the princesses, Marceline, Lady Rainicorn, Jake, BMO, all of Jake and Lady Rainicorn's children, and so on. They dressed especially nice for the special occasion. (BMO even wore a tuxedo!) There were refreshments, including Finn cakes and fruit punch.

As for Finn and Achor, Finn wore a tuxedo. He was dressed very nicely. He didn't bring his hat. However, that wasn't an accident. He didn't bring it because he wanted Achor to see his beautiful hair. Achor wore a wedding dress and her hair was in a bun. Finn thought that she was an angel.

Everybody else was dressed very appropriately. There wasn't anybody who dressed bad. This wedding became one of the most important weddings in all of Ooo.

Finn, Jake, BMO, P.B., and Achor were especially excited. "Isn't this wonderful?" P.B. said to her daughter. "Yes," she replied, "This is the best day ever!" "Yeah, mine too!" Finn said.

Then, Kim Kil Whan went up to P.B. and said, "Bonnibel, how do you feel that your daughter is getting married?" P.B. replied, "Oh, it's just a dream! Oh, how joyful it is that my daughter is marrying somebody tall, handsome, funny, and great with swords. Oh, I am just so happy!" She was about to faint, but Kim Kil Whan caught her just in time. He managed to recover her and get her back on her feet.

Yes, it was a happy time. It was a time of celebration and eventually, the 15th tier. (By the way, have you guessed what Tier 15 is yet? Go ahead now if you didn't already.)

However, there turned out to be a problem.

Far away, in the depths of the Ice Kingdom stood the Ice Castle. In it, Ice King was sleeping. He had a dream. In it, he was told by somebody to "praise the newlyweds, for they are nearby." He suddenly woke up.

"Well, that was a kind of crazy dream," he said, "Well, time to get ready." Then, he got dressed and went into his kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out his favorite food, Yeeargh!

"Yeeargh!" he exclaimed. Then, he said, "This is from months ago…my favorite!" Then, he opened the bottle and licked up every last bit of the… _ahem_ …food in there. (Fun fact: Yeeargh resembles vegemite, being held in a jar. It has a brown color. The more you know!)

"Gunter!" Ice King called, "Come here!" Then, Gunter waddled toward the Ice King. The Ice King asked him, "Gunter, I had a dream that someone told me to 'praise the newlyweds, for they are nearby.' What could that mean?" Gunter squawked. "Good! I'll get my telescope!" The Ice King said. Then, he went to his closet and got an old telescope he first used when he was Simon Petrikov. He then looked out his window and looked all around to see a pair of newlyweds.

He could not believe his eyes.

There, he saw Finn and some girl in a tuxedo and a wedding dress, he saw Finn without his hat on, he saw that Finn had gotten taller, and every single princess in the land of Ooo.

"What?" he exclaimed, "They are having a wedding and I wasn't invited? I'll show them! Gunter! We're traveling to the Candy Kingdom!" Then, he grabbed Gunter and headed out of his castle and towards the Candy Kingdom.

When he reached his destination, he told everybody, "Hey, listen up!" Everybody turned to him. "You see, you tried to have a wedding that I wasn't invited to, but you couldn't get away with it! I never get invited to weddings. I am always the third wheel, but that changes now! Gunter, attack!"

However, Gunter did not attack.

"What are you waiting for, Gunter? Attack!"

Still, Gunter did not attack.

Then, Finn managed to find a rock on the ground and he threw it at Ice King. The rock hit him and sent him falling to the ground. He slammed on the ground with a loud thud. "Ice King! Stop ruining our wedding!" P.B. exclaimed, "C'mon, big boy! We're going to the dungeon!" Then, she picked up Ice King, carried him to the basement, and threw him in the dungeon.

If you remember from Chapter 1, P.B. managed to upgrade her dungeon into a maximum-security dungeon. She threw the King of Ooo in there and he died. However, as soon as P.B. slammed the door shut, she waited a few seconds and then opened the door. "Okay, time's up," she said, "Get out. You were invited to this wedding! C'mon, let's get out!"

The Ice King could not believe his ears. He was invited to this wedding! He must have forgot to check his mailbox. He does that a lot.

While going back to the surface, Ice King asked P.B., "So, who's this girl that Finn is marrying?" She replied, "Her name is Achor. She is my daughter." Ice King asked her again, "Why is Finn marrying? He's only 16." She replied, "Marceline and I went to the Jum-Jum tree west of the Mountain Kingdom and obtained Adgup syrup. Then, using a particle re-arranger, we turned the syrup into spray and sprayed Finn and Achor." The Ice King than said, "OK, I have a lot of trouble processing this." P.B. replied, "That's because you weren't in the first 7 chapters of this fan fiction. If you were in this, you wouldn't be confused."

Then, P.B. went back to the plaza and Ice King sat in one of the empty chairs. Finn and Achor got into positions. P.B. announced, "OK! We would like to start the ceremony! But first, we would like to hear some speeches from Finn's greatest friends! First up is Jake!"

Jake got up and read from his paper, "I am really honored to come to my bro's wedding. Congratulations, Finn! You and Achor are newlyweds! I am so proud of you, bro! I remember my wedding with Lady Rainicorn. It was fantastic, and I say that that wedding was as fantastic as this wedding. Also, congratulations, Achor! You are married to the most wonderful bro of all time! You are so lucky, girl! Finally, congratulations to you both, for being from a new couple to married in just 3 weeks! That's super! I hope you guys have a wonderful life together." Everybody clapped.

"Next up is me!" P.B. said.

P.B. read from her paper, "I am just so happy for you, Achor! I am also happy for you too, Finn! Achor, you got along with Finn like peanut butter and jelly and didn't ever separate at all. This wedding is mainly thanks to Marceline and I for going to the Jum-Jum tree west of the Mountain Kingdom and getting Adgup syrup to turn into spray. That is probably the biggest accomplishment for this wedding. Finally, I would like to thank everybody else for helping out decorating the plaza and setting up the refreshments. Finn and Achor, I hope you stay together forever, even if the day of redemption wipes out everything! Stay strong!" Everybody clapped.

"Third is Marceline!" P.B. said.

Marceline got up and read from her paper, "I am super proud of you getting married, Finn and Achor. All this time, you stayed together despite the weather, the challenge, the enemies, the frenemies, the lies, the deception, the scandals, and everything else that might separate a close couple made by the surrounding people. Also, I am proud of Bonnie and myself for making a treacherous trip to the Adgup's chamber to get the syrup. Finally, I am proud of Finn's friends and everybody else for showing their support for the best couple ever to roam the land of Ooo. Stay close, newlyweds!" Everybody clapped.

"Fourth is BMO!" P.B. said.

BMO got up and read from its paper, "I am just so happy for you, Finn! You took good care of me throughout my life. Now, one of my two favorite people is getting married! Yay! I am happy for you too, Achor! You really gave love and affection to one of my favorite people. That makes me so happy! Next, I am happy for Princess Bubblegum and Marceline for getting Adgup syrup to age this close couple to get married! Finally, I am happy for everybody else for planning this wedding and giving support to my favorite people! Finn and Achor, stay strong, never give up, and never let each other down! Stay being super!" Everybody clapped.

"Fifth is T.V.!" P.B. said.

T.V. got up and read from his paper, "Even though I met my Uncle Finn a while ago and only seen him once since then, I am still honored to attend this wedding. I am so proud as everybody else attending this wedding. I honor my mom for nicely decorating this plaza. I honor P.B. and Marceline for getting the syrup necessary to age this couple. That was probably the most important accomplishment. Finally, I honor those who gave support in keeping this couple close. I hope you two can stay together forever, Uncle Finn and Aunt Achor." Everybody clapped.

"And last but not least is Jake Jr.!" P.B. said.

Even though she had a speech, Jake Jr. didn't make one. Instead, she made a song. It was a beautiful song played on the guitar. She called it "Finn and Achor." She got out her guitar, took out her paper, and sung the song. (By the way, like "The World Stops Turning," feel free to make up your own melody. It has a country feel to it.)

"There once was a boy who wanted it all,

He told the other girls, but they just made him fall.

His name was Finn, he was a human,

He wanted to be a superhuman.

There once was a girl, who was born one day,

She became a teen in just five days.

Her name was Achor; she was born to P.B.,

She was writing songs under the Joshua tree.

When they locked eyes at each other,

They didn't know what to say to each other.

And they fell in love right at Glob's acre,

And they were soon to be Finn and Achor.

They were a good couple, oh yes, they were,

They became the best in just a little blur.

First they were hugging, and then they were smooching,

When they were touching, it was so soothing,

The boy he proposed, but he was too young,

A lemon guy said it, boy, he was flung,

So P.B. and Marceline went on a journey,

To get the syrup, yes, on a journey.

When they locked eyes at each other,

They didn't know what to say to each other.

And they fell in love right at Glob's acre,

And they were soon to be Finn and Achor.

They got the spray and sprayed the couple,

The couple's age, whoa, it doubled.

And now they are husband and wife,

They're having the time, the time of their life.

When they locked eyes at each other,

They didn't know what to say to each other.

And they fell in love right at Glob's acre,

And they were soon to be Finn and Achor.

They were soon to be Finn and Achor.

They were soon to be Finn and Achor, yeah.

They were soon to be Finn and Achor,

Finn and Achor, Finn and Achor, Finn and Achor, yeah."

Everybody cheered.

"Okay, and now, the moment you've been waiting for, the moment when Finn and Achor become husband and wife!" P.B. said. Then, Shelby gave the worm the blessing.

"Finn the human," Shelby said, "Do you take this candy person to be your lawfully wedded wife?" "I do," Finn said. "Achor the candy person," Shelby said, "Do you take this human to be your lawfully wedded wife?" "I do," Achor said. Shelby concluded, "I officially pronounce Finn and Achor husband and wife."

Then, the kiss began. Finn grabbed Achor in his arms and swung her around. Then, they kissed. Everybody cheered.

"Wow, my daughter is now married to Finn the human boy!" P.B. said, "Let's continue the ceremony with a dance party in the castle!" Then, everybody went into the castle and they had a dance party.

Let's just say this: Finn is one of the best dancers ever. He danced like a boss when a normal song played and he slow-danced with Achor when a slow song played. Jake, BMO, P.B., Marceline, and Jake and Rainicorn's pups danced pretty good too.

Now, I have an announcement. Every time a chapter ends, I will give a preview of the next chapter. There's one exception, though, and that is the final chapter. That's because there's no chapter after the last chapter! (Duh.)

Next chapter in The Legend of Achor: Achor's dad revealed! P.B.'s love life confessed! Was it a huge fight or just not getting along? Why did P.B. hide his identity from Finn and Jake? Where is he now? Who is he? What is he? You get to find out next time in The Legend of Achor!


	9. Her Father

Finn and Achor were as proud as they can be. They just got married and Jake Jr. wrote a pretty cool and accurate song about them. Now, they were in Finn and Jake's tree house. Achor was living with them now. They were hanging out and playing video games with BMO. Then, at the right time, Finn asked Jake a question.

"Jake, um, what is Tier 14 now that I'm done with Tier 13? I'm old enough, so tell me." "I'd love to tell you, Finn," Jake replied, "But there are teens here! I can't tell you when there are teens here!" "Whisper in my ear, then." Finn said. "OK," Jake said, "But I won't tell you the last three tiers. You should figure that out now that you're old enough." Then, Jake whispered in Finn's ear.

Then, Finn sat down with Achor while she was playing video games. "Achor, I need to ask you something." Finn said. Achor paused her game. "What is it?" she replied. Then, Finn took a deep breath and said to her, "Describe your ov-"

Suddenly, a ringtone was heard. It was the song "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2. "That's my phone." Achor said. (She likes classical music the best.) She took her phone out of her pocket, held it up to her ear, and began speaking.

"Hello?" she said, "Dad? Hi, I guess. Really? Who told you that? Dad, you need to stop gossiping. It's rude. Because you're spreading rumors!" Then, she did a facepalm. "Dad, you're embarrassing me! Stop it, or else I'm burning those photos I gave you! Good. Oh, what is it? What? You are! How am I going to tell my husband? Ugh…alright. See you at 3, I guess." Then, she put her phone back in her pocket.

"Who was that?" Finn asked. Achor groaned, then she said, "It's my father." Finn and Jake gasped. Achor continued, "He's coming over here at three o'clock sharp. We need to start cleaning up for a guest!" Then, they got to work cleaning the house.

Let me tell you this right now: BMO's cleaning skills excel any human being on this planet right now. That is thanks to its "Cleaning Light Mode," where BMO would shoot lights from his eyes and what is in the lights is magically cleaned. How is this? Like I said, it's magic. When BMO was finished, the tree house looked cleaner than it was before.

Achor checked her phone. "Oh my Glob, it's three o'clock!" She exclaimed, "We need to be at the outside of this tree house!" Then, Finn, Jake, Achor, and BMO went outside. When they were outside, they saw what appeared to be…a shooting star.

"Here he comes!" Achor said. Then, the shooting star turned into a gray UFO slowly coming toward our protagonists. BMO started to cry. "Finn, I'm scared!" it said. "Don't be," Finn replied, "It'll get better." Then, he hugged BMO as it was continuing to cry.

Then, as the UFO came as close as it could be, it landed and the door slowly swung open. There was a scary shadow in the smoke coming out of the spaceship. It was tall and very scary with those menacing red eyes. Then, the smoke disappeared, and they could not believe their eyes. So Achor's dad is one scary dude!

Just kidding!

The four protagonists could not believe their eyes because the actual person was the opposite of his shadow! Instead of being tall and scary, he was short and kind of cute. He had a round, bald head and was wearing a leather jacket with black wristbands, skin-tight jeans, and very questionable shoes.

The guy's name was Glanzax Frezazagazax. If you think that sounds like a weird name, that's because he's an alien from Mars! Actually, he was born on Neptune, but moved to and resided on Mars. There, he met Abraham Lincoln, Grob Gob Glob Grod, and more people. They didn't seem to mind that he was an alien from a gas planet. (Somehow, that last sentence makes me laugh.)

Glanzax was kind of weird. He would get into fights a lot, so he got arrested. Eventually, he couldn't take it anymore on Mars, so he moved to Earth hoping that he would have a better reputation. And he did…sort of. He would still get into fights, but only in relationships. Rumor has it that on Earth, he dated 45 ladies and divorced them all. And Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum was the 45th.

Anyway, he went down the steps and told everybody, "Hello! I presume that these are the people that live in this uniquely-built tree house." However, they just stood at him in awe. "Okay, with that being said, to the tree house!" Then, they went into Finn and Jake's tree house. When they got in, they stopped staring in awe.

"So, alien dude, tell me a bit about yourself." Finn said. "Well," Glanzax said, "My name is Glanzax Frezazagazax. I am Achor's father." Achor rolled her eyes. "So," he continued, "I hear that you married this fine lady." "Yep," Finn replied, "Sure did."

"Congratulations!" Glanzax said, "You must be very lucky. My daughter is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. By the way, what's the deal with that walking talking electronic game system?" Glanzax picked up BMO. "No, I won't harm anybody! I swear!" it said. "Well, you certainly look like the type that plays with people. Heck, you seem cute." Then, he continued to inspect the…ahem…"walking talking electronic game system."

"Achor?" Finn asked, "What's the deal with your dad?" "Oh, it's a long story," Achor replied, "Buckle up, because Narry will make sure that this is one wild ride!"

Alright, fasten your seat belts, folks, because this will be a wild ride called…"The Flashback Ride." Here…we… _gooooooooooooo!_ _!frab ot gniog m'I kniht I ,bloG hO_

We begin 24 years ago in central Neptune. Here's something to know: after the Great Mushroom War, people moved onto Neptune and established colonies on the…ocean. The people's bodies grew to adapt to the gases, including methane. Then, the colonies grew into strong city-states. One of which was Gravelesk-Ophiggionigax.

Glanzax Frezazagazax was born in the city-state of Gravelesk-Ophiggionigax. His father was a biologist and his mother was a chemist. Glanzax remembered going to his father or mother's lab to see how biology and chemistry was done.

Glanzax's life changed when he heard that the inhabitants on his planet were moving people to other planets such as Mars and Earth to spread the species everywhere in the galaxy. He told his mother and father, and they wanted to move. However, there was one catch.

They wanted to move him. Glanzax had been a troublemaker lately. He'd yell at his parents, cry for no reason, or not be interested in anything. So, he and his parents packed his bags, went to the moving agency, put Glanzax on a spaceship with his bags and launched him.

After two minutes, he realized what his parents had done. He was mad at them. He tried destroying the spaceship to return home. He couldn't, so he just sat there, crying. Destination: Mars!

After two days, he finally arrived at Mars. The travel agency welcomed him into the world of tomorrow. Two days had gone by and he had gotten over it. He rented an apartment near the center of the main city. There, he was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He flunked out of Mars University and lived his life as a wanderer.

There, he got into bar fights and got arrested a lot. He always escaped from jail because he always has proof that he didn't start it. And he didn't! So, they let him go. Grob Gob Glob Grod got suspicious, so he planted a security camera in his apartment to watch him.

Grob Gob Glob Grod soon realized that he was leaving. Glanzax packed up his bags, went to the travel agency, but before he could get in a spaceship and fly away, Grob Gob Glob Grod stopped him. They asked him why he was leaving; he said he wanted to visit his parents again in Neptune. They soon tell him that the Martians had vaporized Neptune so that he wouldn't go there to destroy Mars.

Glanzax was furious. He told them to stay away from him, and so he got on a spaceship and pretty soon landed on Earth.

On Earth, Glanzax decided that he needed someone to comfort him, so he signed up for an online dating site. There, he had 44 wives and divorced them all. (I heard a rumor that one of those wives was Finn's biological mother; but seriously, let's not go there.) He never had children with any of them.

However, there was one wife he would later regret divorcing; that wife was Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum.

Glanzax first saw P.B.'s profile right after he divorced the 44th wife. He saw that P.B. wanted some love in her life, so he decided to meet her in person. So, he traveled to the Candy Kingdom, (This was during the time of the episode "The Silent King") met P.B. in an alley, and long story short, they became sweethearts.

What impresses me the most is that P.B. managed to conceal her relationship successfully from Finn and Jake. She told everybody else, but not Finn and Jake. She told them to not tell them.

However, their relationship got suspended when P.B. turned 13. Then, after that, their relationship stayed strong. Then, during the time of the episode "Vault of Bones," they finally got married! Then, immediately after, they performed Tiers 15 and 16.

You want to know what else impresses me? For 38 solid weeks, it doesn't look like she's eating for two. Maybe the animators forgot? I don't know, I'm just a narrator! Then, right after P.B. got back her crown from the King of Ooo, she had a baby and named it…Achor.

However, those 38 weeks were filled with sorrow and misery. They got into fights a lot. Sometimes, the fights got bloody. They would throw things. Sometimes, they would drop a lot of blood. Glanzax would even attempt to chop off her arm and even attempt to split her chest apart to let the unborn fetus out. I'm sorry to say that, but it's true.

But why did this happen?

P.B. wanted to keep it a secret from everybody. However, I, Narry, know the exact answer. I'm going to tell you that right now. Here we go:

It is said that Glanzax was insane. It was also said that Glanzax's mind had cracked. Many even believe that a rapid animal bit him. However, here is the real answer: it turns out he is not ready for wives yet. He gets really agitated when somebody is near him and he tends to go crazy during that period.

Yes, one time, a fight got so bloody. And that fight is what officially ended the relationship between Glanzax Frezazagazax and Bonnibel Bubblegum.

So, yeah. Answering the questions from the preview from the last chapter, we could see that it was a huge fight that broke them up; P.B. hid it from Finn and Jake because she was too scared to think of the memories again, he is now residing on Earth, he is a person who has trouble with wives, and he is an alien from the planet Neptune.

Whew, that covers a lot!

Anyway, when it was time up, our four protagonists said bye to Glanzax, and then, he got on his spaceship and flew away.

"Wow, that story was pretty sad." Finn said. "Yeah," Achor replied, "I can't believe that Narry would tell gruesome details to teenagers." Eh, sorry.

The moral of this chapter is that to never have any problems with wives if you want to have children. Just don't!

Next chapter in The Legend of Achor: Three angels come to one of Jake and Lady Rainicorn's five children! Can you guess which one? Also, Finn does something to Achor! Finn's ex-wife strikes back! Wait a minute, which ex-wife? You get to find out next time in The Legend of Achor!


	10. Charlie's Angels

It was a beautiful day at the tree house. Charlie, one of Jake's five pups, visited. It was mainly for language purposes as Charlie was being tutored on English.

Now, Charlie was a bit…weird. She owns an apartment like all of her sisters and brothers, but her apartment is especially messy. What's even weirder is that she has no voice actor yet! That is, until now. She hasn't spoken one line in the show except 수학 (Mathematical!), 아빠 몸체이동 (Move dad into body!), and 무지개 뱅. (Rainbow bang!) Now, you'll get to hear Charlie's first words. Just one thing I want to make clear: Charlie doesn't speak English very well. That's why Jake is tutoring Charlie on English. She knows simple words like "pocket" and "fairy", but her structures aren't good. For example, instead of saying, "I'll go to the store," she'll say, "I go to store." See what I mean about weird?

Anyway, it was time for Charlie to head out. She said bye and walked out of the tree house.

Let's talk about her apartment. She has this expensive Korean apartment high on a plateau I like to call "Starlight Plateau." This is a plateau where Korean inhabitants of Ooo live. Charlie is a good friend with just about every one of them. Now Charlie entered the apartment complex, went up the elevator, found her door, Room 609, entered the door, and closed the door behind her.

"Oh my Glob!" Charlie exclaimed, "My apartment is big mess!" Then, she started to clean out every single piece of junk she could find. However, most of that junk was pretty valuable. So, she put every single piece of junk into designated boxes.

The cleaning stressed out Charlie. She never had to do this before! As she was cleaning, a voice said, "Charlie, Charlie…" "Who there?" she asked, "I trying to clean!" "You're feeling stressed, Charlie," another voice said, "Why don't you kick back and relax?" "I can not relax!" Charlie exclaimed, "Leave me alone! I want alone time!" "You don't have to be lonely, Charlie," a third voice said, "Just look in your wallet and you'll never be lonely!" "My wallet?" Charlie asked. Then, she took out her wallet and took out a Korean dollar.

Suddenly, three angels came out of her wallet with grace and dignity. They were red, blue, and green. "Don't be worried, Charlie," said the red angel. "You'll never be lonely, Charlie," said the blue angel. "We're your angels, Charlie," said the green angel. "My angels?" Charlie asked.

"I'm Adora, the angel of love," the red angel said. "I'm Nadya, the angel of hope." The blue angel said. "Finally, I'm Mirari, the angel of miracles." The green angel said. Then, the angels together said, "You'll never be worried. You'll never be lonely. You've got us, Charlie." Then, all three angels waved their wands around Charlie's messy apartment and in a flash, it was nice and tidy.

"So," Charlie said, "You angels are key to love, hope, and miracles? I glad to have you all!" "Yes," Adora said, "We make love, hope, and miracles with our Angelic Television!" "Angelic Television?" Charlie asked. "The Angelic Television is the key to our good deeds." Nadya said. "Without it, we wouldn't have a purpose." Mirari said. Then, the angels together said, "See for yourself so you'll know our purpose."

Then, Mirari took out a small pellet. After that, the pellet landed on Charlie's desk and suddenly, the pellet turned into one massive television. The television had many images of people doing things.

"Are you stalking? Is it bad to stalk?" Charlie asked. "It's not bad to stalk if you're an angel." Adora said. "We have small cameras all over the land of Ooo." Nadya said. "See for yourself." Mirari said. Then, she handed Charlie a TV remote.

"I confused," she said, "Can you work for me?" "Sure, we can do anything for our master." Mirari said. Charlie handed her the remote and Mirari started to browse what is going on for her.

At first, there was an image of T.V. playing a video game. "Next!" Charlie said. Then, the image changed. It was an image of P.B. making the ultimate grilled cheese sandwich. "No good." Charlie said. Then, the image changed again. It was an image of Choose Goose selling somebody what appeared to be a diamond chest plate. "Change channel!" Then, the image changed for the third time. It was an image of Finn with Achor, and they were kissing. "Not interested." Charlie said. Then, the image changed for the fourth time. It was an image of a caterpillar crying.

"One channel back, please! I think I saw interesting going on." Then, the image changed back to Finn and Achor kissing.

It appears that Finn did something to Achor. This wasn't your average thing. This was a thing that even the bravest teenager reading this wouldn't say what Finn has done to Achor. This was a very inappropriate doing, so I'm just going to say something that is appropriate to say to teenagers. This is what I say, starting right now:

Finn has pulled a Tier 15 on Achor.

There was no turning back now. There stood Achor with a big, bulging belly that stuck out prominently. Then, Finn and Achor stopped kissing for a moment. "We're going to be good parents." Finn said. Then, they resumed kissing.

"That's Uncle Finn and Aunt Achor!" Charlie exclaimed, "They about to have little tiny cuties! How cute!" "That was thanks to me," Mirari said, "Without me, her belly wouldn't be sticking out." Charlie started to cry tears of joy. "Just imagine baby being born. How I love to visit when the baby comes out! There may be more than one! There may be even five or ten! Just think! Let's turn the channels to see who crying." Then, the image on the TV changed with the caterpillar crying. They watched closely.

"Why did he have to break up with me?" it said, "Why did Finn have to change species and dump me? I'm much better than that sickening candy person! Seriously, this isn't funny. This is my life, my story, and my saddening tale. This is my horrible life. But soon, it isn't going to be! When the moment is just right, I will transform into a butterfly and steal his love from him! Then, we will be husband and wife once again!" Before she transformed into a cocoon, she said, "Achor will definitely feel the wrath of…Erin the caterpillar!" Then, she transformed into a cocoon.

"Oh, no!" Charlie exclaimed, "Erin going to steal Finn! I can not let this happen! I do something about this! I save him and her!" Then, she put Adora, Nadya, and Mirari back in her wallet, headed out of the apartment, and headed towards Finn and Achor.

Before they could reach them, however, Erin was fast transforming from a cocoon to a butterfly. That happened in about 6 hours. When she got out of the cocoon, she laughed maniacally.

"Ha ha ha!" she laughed, "I shall interrupt Finn and Achor's marriage by swooping in and stealing Finn! Then, we will marry and have little babies! Ahahahahahahahahaha!" Then, she flew towards Love Tree Point, where they were hanging out.

Finn and Achor were staring at the beautiful sunset in front of them. "I'm so happy, Finn," Achor said, "We are going to have babies sometime in this week!" "I'm happy, too, Achor," Finn replied, "I'm happy too." They hugged.

Suddenly, there was the faint sound of buzzing. "Do you hear that, Finn?" asked Achor. "No," Finn replied. Then, they turned around to find a somewhat-bigger-than-normal butterfly in front of them. The butterfly was pink with long eyelashes and a ribbon.

"Finn, remember me?" the butterfly said. "Well," Finn said, "No. Wait a minute…um…oh, I know you! You're…ERIN!" "That's right!" Erin said. "Erin?" Achor asked. "She's…um…she's my… _ex-wife_." Finn replied. "Oh." Achor said.

Erin continued, "Finn, I was having a wonderful time being your husband until you turned back into a human and broke up with me! Now, I'm going to get rid of your current wife, turn you into a butterfly, then we will marry and have kids! Ahahahahahahahahaha! I'm going to poison you, Achor, first, then I can be his wife again!" Then, Erin was slowly heading towards the newlyweds.

There was one problem with our newlyweds: they weren't ready to fight. Finn didn't bring his sword and Achor is pregnant so she can't fight, so…yeah. They were hopeless.

Until suddenly, out of the blue, a giant, yellow fist punched the butterfly and sent her falling to her death in the low lands below. And that fist belonged to Charlie!

"Do not mess with them anymore, beast! Be gone!" she exclaimed. "Charlie?" Finn said, "You saved us!" Then, Finn, Achor, and Charlie had a massive hug. "Yes, I did," she replied, "I do anything for my Uncle Finn and Aunt Achor." Then, they dispersed.

"Oof!" Achor said, "I feel one of them kicking, Finn!" "One of them?" Charlie asked. "Yep," Finn replied, "We are expected to have five babies two days from now! Three male, two female!" Charlie cried tears of joy. "Oh, so wonderful! Those babies will be so cute! I'm sure of it!" she said, "Bye! See you in two days!" "Bye!" Finn and Achor said in unison. Then, Charlie walked away from Love Tree Point and towards her house. Her three angels came out of her wallet.

"Well done, Charlie!" Adora said. "You saved your uncle and aunt from all distress! They shall live together until they die!" Nadya said. "Uh oh, I feel a major disturbance coming our way!" Mirari said.

Then, a crack grew in the clouds and down came the Guardian Angel. "Charlie," she said, "I know these three wonderful little angels came to you, but they are mine! I'd like to have them, please!" Charlie replied, "No! They my angels for all eternity!" Suddenly, the Guardian Angel's face grew grotesque. "Give them to me! NOW!" she shouted. Then, Charlie screamed and ran, and the Guardian Angel followed her. There was a mad chase. I do not know about this mad chase, but all I know is that near the end of the day, Charlie, the three little angels, and the Guardian Angel chased right into the sunset.

Next chapter in The Legend of Achor: Finn and Achor's kids are born! What will be their names? What will they look like? Something happens to them on their first night! What happened? Finally, two well-known characters come back as ghosts! Who are those people? You get to find out next time in The Legend of Achor!


	11. Finn the Dad

Today was the day.

Today was the day that five new people would enter into the world. Today was the day that Finn and Achor would have something to be proud of. Today was the day…of Finn and Achor's children's birth.

It was a regular day until Lady Rainicorn was hurrying to the Candy Kingdom. Jake, Charlie, T.V., Viola, Kim Kil Whan, Jake Jr., and BMO were riding her. They had been hurrying because if they didn't, they would miss the children's birth. "Faster! Faster! Hurry up! We wouldn't want to miss the children's birth!" Jake said to Lady. "I'm hurrying! I'm hurrying!" she said back in Korean.

"Uh, dad, why are we going really fast towards the Candy Kingdom?" T.V. asked. Jake replied with, "Look, it's a long story, but…" "Please don't tell it, then." T.V. said. Jake said back, "The point is, Finn and Achor are having babies." "I understand completely!" T.V. said. Then, they continued hurrying toward the Candy Kingdom.

Until they were stopped by the Banana Guards, that is. "Halt!" one said, "No one is allowed to enter the Candy Kingdom until further notice!" "Look," Jake replied, "I know Finn's wife is giving birth, but the point is, I am his brother, this is my family, and we should have permission to see the birth." "Yes," BMO said, "I should see it too, because technically Finn and Jake take care of me." The Banana Guards thought about it for a moment.

After a moment, the Banana Guards got out of their way. "You may pass." The second one said. After that, all the people who were riding Lady Rainicorn were running towards the hospital. Lady was following them. "To the hospital!" Jake said.

When they got inside the hospital, everybody was in the way. One of those people was Peppermint Butler. He was with Princess Bubblegum. "You guys wouldn't want to get too close," Peppermint Butler said to our protagonists, "Otherwise you would ruin everything! The delivery is still going on." They ignored them and walked past the crowd and to the side of Achor's bed, where Finn was.

"Jake?" Finn said. "Finn!" Jake said, "I came just in time for the birth, didn't I?" "Yeah, you did," Finn said, "The delivery is about to take place!" "All systems go," Dr. Ice Cream said, "Blood levels are normal. We're ready!"

Then, the delivery took place.

"Baby Number 1 is exiting the womb." Nurse Pound Cake said. Finn stood in front of Achor. "Baby Number 2 is exiting the womb." Finn's eyes grew wide. "Baby Number 3 is exiting the womb!" Finn stuck his arms out. "Baby Number 4 is exiting the womb." "Come to daddy, come to daddy, come to daddy," Finn said. "Baby Number 5 is exiting the womb." Dr. Princess pushed Finn out of the way. "Finn," she said, "I am a professional and you aren't. I should take care of this." "Babies 1 through 5 are stuck!" Nurse Pound Cake yelled, "We need the crank! Dr. Ice Cream, give her some sugar!"

Then, Dr. Donut ran into the room with a machine that looked like two hooks stuck to a metal crank. Then, Dr. Donut went up to Achor. Dr. Ice Cream prepared for the sugar. "Ready?" Dr. Ice Cream said. "Ready!" Dr. Donut replied. "Okay, commence the expansion!"

Then, Dr. Donut stuck the machine to Achor and started cranking while Dr. Ice Cream smeared sugar on her face. Then, Dr. Donut stopped cranking and Dr. Ice Cream stopped smearing the sugar. Then, Dr. Princess stood there; her arms stuck out, crouched down a bit, and prepared herself.

Suddenly, five babies popped out very fast and landed in Dr. Princess's arms and it tipped her over. Then, she got back up with the five babies in her hand.

Then, Dr. Donut cranked on Achor backwards and put the crank away. "Whoa, dude," Jake said to Finn, "That was one math birth! It had a crank and everything! I didn't get that type of birth from Lady Rainicorn. I'm a bit jealous!" Finn shrugged.

After a couple of hours or so, everyone left but Finn, Achor, Lady Rainicorn, the people who rode on her back, and of course, the five babies.

"Yay!" BMO said, "You now have kids! I want to see them!" "All right," said Finn, "We'll put them on the table!" Then, Finn put the five babies on the table. "We took two hours coming up with names, but it was totally worth it! Everybody, meet William, Evan, Owen, Achor Jr., and Scarlet."

I bet you are excited already. Let me tell you: I was, too. Anyway, I will give somewhat-brief descriptions of the five babies that Finn and Achor gave birth to. Here we go:

William Mertens was a cutie. He had blond hair just like his dad, except that the hair on the left side of his head pointed left and the hair on the right side of his head pointed right. His favorite hobbies would be photography and making sculptures. Also, like every single one of Finn and Achor's kids, he was ½ human, ¼ candy person, and ¼ alien.

Evan Mertens was also a cutie. He had blond hair, but unlike William, Evan's hair was exactly like his dad's. He even wore a bunny hat very similar to Fionna's, but the ears were longer and they flopped. His favorite hobbies would be playing video games and adventuring; just like his dad!

Owen Mertens was somewhat of a cutie. His hair was like William's except that the color was a mixture of blond and pink. I have no idea what a mixture of blond and pink is, so tell me, okay? His favorite hobbies would be exploring and finding very rare and arcane artifacts.

Achor Mertens, Jr. was as cute as her mom. Her hair was pink like her mom's and the style made it look like she just stepped right out of the shower. Her favorite hobbies would be exploring with Owen, finding very rare and arcane artifacts with Owen, and occasionally, playing video games with Evan.

Scarlet Mertens had _heterochromia._ In case if you don't know what that means, according to , it means "a difference in coloration in two structures or two parts of the same structure that are normally alike in color." In fact, her dad has heterochromia, too! However, rather than having heterochromia in her eyes, (Finn's left eye turns green when he's hypnotized) she has heterochromia in her hair. It's both blond and pink! Her favorite hobbies are being a rock star, writing songs, and doing awesome covers of already-existing songs.

These five children were very playful on their first day in Ooo. Finn, Achor, Jake, Lady, Charlie, T.V., Viola, Kim Kil Whan, Jake Jr., and BMO all played with the children. Charlie liked William. T.V. played with Evan the most. Viola grew fond of Owen. Kim Kil Whan was often seen playing with Achor Jr. Finally; Jake Jr's favorite child was Scarlet. Then, it grew night.

It was time for everybody to go to bed. "Jake," Finn said, "Me and Achor are going to live here from now on. We need to stay close to the children!" "Oh," Jake replied, "That's fine. But hey, at least I have all these wonderful people! See you soon, Finn!" "Bye!" Finn and Achor said. Then, everybody but Finn, Achor, and their children left the Candy Kingdom.

Let's flash-forward to 6:26 A.M. It was still dark outside. Finn, however, got up super early because he needed to check on the children to make sure they were okay. However, when he checked the crib, they were _gone_.

"Oh my Glob!" Finn whispered loudly, "Achor, Achor! The babies are gone!" "Oh my Glob!" Achor exclaimed.

"Finn, Finn…" a voice said. "What is that?" Finn said. "Whatever it is," Achor said, "This is a red alert!" Then, she pushed the red alert button next to her bed.

The sirens all over the castle set off. Everybody in the kingdom woke up. Then, everybody got up from their beds, got dressed, and had a meeting in Achor's bedroom. Even her mom was there!

"Attention, candy people!" Achor exclaimed, "Our children are gone!" Everybody gasped. Achor continued, "We will search all throughout the castle to see where my babies went! Anyone slacking off will receive a ticket. Any questions?" Nobody raised their hands. "Good! Now, let's search!" Everybody did.

However, the voice saying, "Finn, Finn…" spoke throughout the castle everywhere. This led to Finn and Achor following the voice from the main hall to the kitchen to the dining room. Then, they heard the voice again. "It sounded like it was coming from your room!" Finn said. "I agree. Let's go!" Achor replied. Then, they followed that voice to Achor's room.

"Finn…" the voice said. "Huh?" Finn replied. Then, two ghosts appeared and stood in front of Finn and Achor, staring prominently at them. And these were the ghosts of…

…Joshua and Margaret.

In case if you don't know, (Which is unlikely that you don't know, so if you do know, skip this part) Joshua and Margaret are Jake's dead parents and Finn's dead adoptive parents. That would mean Finn and Jake are brothers from another mother! One day, Joshua and Margaret found Finn as a baby on a leaf that he pooped on. They thought he was a mudfish, (Hence the name Finn!) so they took him home thinking to boil and eat him. However, they soon realized that Finn had funny arms, so they laughed at him. Because he was worth a few laughs, they decided to adopt and love him. The rest is history. Their death remains a mystery…

…Until now.

Yep, I am going to tell you the death of Joshua and Margaret. Apparently, they traveled forward in time for some reason and met the Adgup. Then, the Adgup exiled them from Ooo into this strange dimension called Limbo, where everybody is a spirit. Then, they died from a lack of oxygen. Why is this?

It turns out that the Shape-shifter and the Adgup were first cousins.

"Who are those?" Achor asked Finn. "Alright, I'll tell you…" said Finn. Then, she told her everything: the finding, the adopting, a few revelations, the exile, and the death. When he was finished, Achor got it.

"Finn," the ghost of Joshua said, "We took your babies away because five is enough." "WHAT?" Finn and Achor said. The ghost of Joshua continued, "Finn and Achor, when Jake had kids, we were glad to be grandparents. However, we think that five is enough. So, we are going to eat your kids."

When, they heard this, they went psycho. Then, Finn tried to attack the ghosts, but they already disappeared. "You cannot stop us, Finn," the ghost of Joshua said, "There's no stopping this now." Then, Finn said to Achor, "I have an idea, Achor!" Then, he went into the closet.

When he came out, he was wearing a green hat with an L on it, overalls, a green undershirt, a mustache, and a vacuum. "We are going to suck them in!" Finn said. Achor looked totally confused. "Okay," she said, "Lose the costume and you're all set!"

Then, Finn and Achor traversed the castle looking for the ghosts of Joshua and Margaret. Suddenly, in the kitchen, the ghosts pooped out. "You can't stop us, Finn!" the ghost of Joshua yelled. Then, Finn hit the suck button and just before the ghosts were going into the bowels of the vacuum, Joshua yelled, "No! This is not the end of my story! This is not the end of my world! It shouldn't be! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!" "We did it!" Finn yelled, then high-fived Achor. Then, they heard…rustling in the vacuum. Finn opened it.

It turned out that the kids were right there. Finn took them out, put them back in the crib, and Finn said, "We saved you kids! You all should be glad!"

"Dad, we were just fine!" William said. Finn's eyes grew wide. _Whaaaaaaaaat?_ he thought. "Yeah, we were having fun until you had to ruin the party!" Evan said. "They really weren't going to eat us. They lied to you. We were having fun!" Owen said. "However, we still love you, dad." Achor Jr. said. "You're the best dad ever!" Scarlet said. Then, all five of the children jumped up and hugged Finn. Then, the sun rose. "Alright," Finn said to the children, "Who wants breakfast?" "I do! I do! I do!" the children said.

Back at Lady Rainicorn's house, Jake, Lady, their children, and BMO were playing Go Fish. "T.V., got any kings?" Jake asked. "It's my last card." T.V. said. Then, he handed Jake the card. "I win!" Jake exclaimed, "I won 58 games in a row!" Then, Finn entered.

"Finn! How did it go?" Jake said. "Good," Finn said, "It turns out that my children grew as fast as yours. They're basically teenagers now. Scarlet is only 2 years younger than me. That's okay, however, because I got a family right here!" Then, all of the people in the house hugged.

Speaking of aging up fast, did you know that as long as the mother or father has that stinger there, the aging is passed down to the offspring? William is 13, Evan is 14, Owen and Achor Jr. are each 15, and Scarlet is 16. Like Jake's children, they're living somewhere else, but unlike Jake's children, they all live in one place. It's a place full of tents that are grouped together and it's very near where Finn and Flame Princess first kissed. They call it "Camp Mertens."

Next chapter in The Legend of Achor: A monster roams the Camp Mertens area! Which monster is it? Is it really real or just a hoax? A new couple gets together! Who are those people? You get to find out next time in The Legend of Achor!


	12. Bighand

It was a beautiful night at Camp Mertens. A sunset just swept the landscape and dazzled and amazed the five children. After that, since it was a Saturday, it was Movie Night.

Movie Night is a night where Owen and Achor Jr. go to the landfill to find old and sometimes arcane movies from thousands of years ago. Then, they'd take the movie back to the camp and watch it on William's homemade projector. This time, however, they were lucky.

They got back to the camp. "We found one!" Owen and Achor Jr. shouted. "Which one is it?" Scarlet said. Then, the children all made a huddle to see the movie they were about to watch.

"It's called _Follow Your Heart, Watch Your Back._ " Said Owen. Then, he turned the box over and read on the back, "'Can you survive a broken relationship and save it by going through a dungeon that might just break your heart?'" Then, he read the reviews. He said, "'It's like a Christmas present waiting there for you; Veronika Bonell makes an astounding performance,' says New York Times. ' _Follow Your Heart, Watch Your Back_ is astounding…I love it,' says Rolling Stone. Finally, Time says…"

Evan interrupted, "Stop reading the reviews and let's get on with this thing!" Then, the children popped the disk into the projector, turned it on, pulled a screen down, made some popcorn, and watched the movie.

I think that if you would've seen _Follow Your Heart, Watch Your Back,_ it would've been one of your favorites. It follows the adventures of Vikki, a girl whose family breaks up because of a diamond ring. Then, she must go on a journey through a mysterious dungeon while she follows her heart _and_ watches her back. It was astounding.

When the movie was over, the children turned the projector off, pulled the screen back up, and put the DVD and the case into the "Watch Again" box. (It's used in case if there are no movies in the landfill.) Suddenly, they heard a noise.

"Do you want more popcorn, William?" Evan asked. "No," William replied, "That wasn't me." "Owen, do _you_ want more popcorn?" Evan asked. "No," Owen replied, "I'm full." "Junior, do _you_ want more popcorn?" Evan asked. "No," Achor Jr. replied, "I ate five whole bowls!" "Scarlet, do _you_ want more popcorn?" Evan asked. "Nah," Scarlet replied, "I'm beat." "That wasn't me," Evan said, "So it was coming from the outside!" Then, the children went outside.

Out in the distance, they saw what appeared to be a gorilla eating a slug. It had huge hands. Owen did his gorilla call. Then, the gorilla looked…straight at them. William managed to get out a camera and snap a photo. Then, the gorilla went back into the distance.

They went back inside and studied the photo. "It looks like a gorilla." Owen said. "With big hands." Achor Jr. said. "He has a half-eaten slug in his huge hands." William said. "Yuck! Who would eat a slug?" Evan said. "Whatever it is, we have got to get more photos," said Scarlet, "Starting tomorrow!"

Then, starting tomorrow, they got more photos. Then, they started to draw observations from those photos. Finally, they drew conclusions from those photos, and this is the data they gathered:

They named the gorilla with huge hands "Bighand." It often roamed the Camp Mertens area. It had a diet of snails, slugs, rabbits, berries, and even deer. It had what appeared to be a girlfriend or wife that they had named "Princess Gorillabreath." Their favorite hobbies were to draw on rocks, crush rocks, make holes in the ground, play dead, and howl at the moon at exactly 8:49 P.M. sharp.

They decided to bring the photos to the Myths and Folklores Department (MFD) near the Candy Kingdom. Then, the photos showed up in newspapers everywhere in the land of Ooo.

"There have been signs of this creature called 'Bighand'," said Starchy in his article for the Candy Kingdom newspaper, "Who has extremely large hands. He hangs out with his wife, 'Princess Gorillabreath' daily. Their diet consists of whatever they find: snails, slugs, rabbits, berries, deer, you name it. They also like to draw pictures on stones, crush stones, dig trenches in the ground, play dead, and howl at the moon at 8:49 P.M. Folks, be on the lookout for these two creatures."

After that, the people of Ooo went wild. Then, the people conducted searches to find Bighand and his wife, Princess Gorillabreath. However, so far, no people were successful in finding them.

One of Finn and Achor's children did find, however, Marcel's dad, Domi. They found him dysfunctional, tired, wired, and outright mad. When Evan found him, he asked what he was doing, and he replied with:

"I have not seen my son since one month ago. I tried calling him, but he always hangs up. I have been wildly dysfunctional for the past three weeks. I need to see my Marcel!" "Okay," Evan replied, "If I find him, I'll let you know." "Thank you," Domi said, "I'll owe you one!" Then, Evan walked away from him. _What a crazy man,_ he thought.

Then, two weeks later, people are finding the Bighand story to be a hoax. They don't have proof. They just know. Bighand and Princess Gorillabreath became hoaxes. They weren't worshipped anymore. The bad thing is that they didn't have proof. They just knew!

The children thought that they were hoaxes, too. They just started to look at the photos and realized that they looked like they were in costumes, the slugs and snails looked like gummies, and the rabbits and deer were just cake. In fact, they all sent Evan to find Bighand and Princess Gorillabreath and take off their costumes.

It was very difficult to find Bighand and Princess Gorillabreath at first. Then, he remembered something: they always go to the valley at 8:49 P.M. sharp to howl at the moon. So, if he went there at 8:49 P.M. sharp, he would find them and take off their costumes!

It was time. Bighand and Princess Gorillabreath were at the valley. They were about to howl at the moon when suddenly, Evan jumped out of the bushes and said, "Ha! You two are hoaxes and I know it! Now to take off your costumes!" Then, he took them off and he gasped.

It was Marcel and LSP.

He couldn't believe it. After a minute, he asked, "So, explain yourselves." "Well," Marcel said, "It's a long story." "Okay, the readers have time." Evan replied.

"Well," Marcel began, "It started one month and two weeks ago when LSP confessed her love to me. She sang 'Baby Got Back' because I have a big butt, and I don't mind that. However, I thought that she was a guy, so I said no and then ran away from the Candy Kingdom into the woods. Shortly after, I confessed my love to your mom. I sang 'Hound Dog,' but I meant to sing 'I Can't Help Falling in Love With You,' or whatever it's called. However, she said no because she said she was dating Finn, your dad. Then, I ran away from the Candy Kingdom into the woods. Then, I met LSP in the woods. I wanted her to stay away, but she confessed that she was a girl, but she sounded like a boy. I felt really bad for her, so we started going out. You see…" Then, he began to sing a song.

"Things just aren't the way they seem,

Realizing that just made me steam,

I just want to have it all, yeah,

But that's hard when you just can't get to it.

I want to be a free bird, but I just can't

Because I am just too picky 'bout my feelings,

I want to be a happy bird, but I just can't

Because it's not easy being a person

Who makes the wrong decision."

LSP sang, too:

"Why has this world have to treat me this way?

Why has the world got to think I'm a tomboy?

I just want to be beautiful, but I can't

'Cause I just can't chase my own dreams

I want to be a free bird, but I just can't

Because I am just too picky 'bout my feelings,

I want to be a happy bird, but I just can't

Because it's not easy being a person

Who makes the wrong decision."

Finally, they sung a duet:

"Of all the people in this world,

Who doesn't think I make the wrong decision,

There would be none or maybe a few,

But those few have some kind of problems with opinions

Those few have a problem with decisions.

I think that they have unclear vision,

And I say this from the bottom of my heart

I want to be a free bird, but I just can't

Because I am just too picky 'bout my feelings,

I want to be a happy bird, but I just can't

Because it's not easy being a person

Who makes the wrong decision."

Evan got it now. "So," he said, "You guys made the wrong decision and screwed up badly? I feel you two. Also, I'm going to tell your dad that I found you. Also, it's a Saturday. You two are invited to Movie Night!"

And so it was. Evan told Domi that he found his son, and they all were invited to Movie Night. They all watched _Follow Your Heart, Watch Your Back,_ because why not? After all, it was such a good movie.

Next chapter in The Legend of Achor: Who is that girl? She's so unusual! I wish that she was my girl and I wish that I was her man…wait, what am I talking about? You get to find out next time in The Legend of Achor!


End file.
